Joke of the Day (Rodney Dangerfield, on Father-Son Christmas Gift-Giving)

“For Christmas I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me a sweatshirt with a bull’s-eye on the back.” —American stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004), quoted in Laughter Really Is the Best Medicine: America's Funniest Jokes, Stories, and Cartoons, from the Editors of Reader's Digest (2011)

Joke of the Day (Rodney Dangerfield, With an Early Form of Social Distancing)

“We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.”—American stand-up comic Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004), quoted in Gene Perret with Terry Martin, Hilarious Roasts, Toasts and One-Liners: The Ultimate Source for Speeches, Toasts, Parties or Anytime for Pure Fun (2001)

TV Quote of the Day (‘SNL,’ With Rodney Dangerfield on ‘The Pepsi Syndrome’ at Three Mile Island)

Rosalyn Carter [played by Laraine Newman]: “Where is Jimmy? I have a right to see him!”

Ross Denton, head of public relations [played by guest host Richard Benjamin]: “Mrs. Carter, the president is receiving special treatment right now.”

Mrs. Carter: “What kind of special treatment? Why can’t I see him?”

Denton: “Mrs. Carter, this is Dr. Edna Casey. Perhaps she can explain better than I what has happened to the president.”

Dr. Edna Casey [played by Jane Curtin]: “Mrs. Carter, your husband was exposed to massive doses of radiation. Now this has affected the entire cell structure of his body and greatly accelerated the growth process.”

Mrs. Carter: “Well, what does that mean?”

Dr. Casey: “It means, Mrs. Carter, your husband, President Carter, has become [camera zooms in on Dr. Casey] the amazing colossal president.”

Mrs. Carter: “Well, how big is he?”

Dr. Casey: “Well, Mrs. Carter, it’s difficult to comprehend just how big he is but to give you some idea, we’ve asked comedian Rodney Dangerfield to come along today to help explain it to you. Rodney?

”

[Rodney Dangerfield enters]

Rodney: “How do you do, how are you?”

Denton: “Rodney, can you please tell us, how big is the president?”

Rodney: “Oh, he’s a big guy, I’ll tell you that, he’s a big guy. I tell you, he’s so big, I saw him sitting in the George Washington Bridge dangling his feet in the water! He’s a big guy!”

Mrs. Carter: “Oh my God! Jimmy! Oh God!”

Rodney: “Oh, he’s big, I’ll tell you that, boy. He’s so big that when two girls make love to him at the same time, they never meet each other! He’s a big guy, I’ll tell you!”

Mrs. Carter: “Oh no! Oh Jimmy! My Jimmy!”

Rodney: “I don’t want to upset you, lady, he’s big, you know what I mean? Why, he could have an affair with the Lincoln Tunnel! I mean, he’s really high! He’s big, I’ll tell you! He’s a big guy!”

Mrs. Carter: “No! No! No!”

Denton: “Rodney, thank you very much. You can go.”

Rodney: “It’s my pleasure. He’s way up there, lady! You know what I mean?”—Saturday Night Live, Season 4: Episode 16, “The Pepsi Syndrome” skit, Apr. 7, 1979

The nuclear accident at Three Mile Island in Pennsylvania may have occurred 40 years ago today, but we live in its shadow even now. The techno-utopia pushed by the nuclear power industry to that point proved, as utopias invariably do, a chimera. An industry that took wing through Dwight Eisenhower’s “Atoms for Peace” program received a decisive check in the early spring of 1979, and subsequent incidents at Russia’s Chernobyl and Japan’s Fukushima plants proved far more damaging, both to the environment and to public trust in institutions.

Only two nuclear power plants are currently under construction in the U.S., and the average age of existing ones is 40 years old, according to an Andrew Maykuth article in the Philadelphia Inquirer last month. The industry has been forced into expensive safety and security measures, with its representatives increasingly compelled to explain themselves.

Speaking of explaining themselves, Saturday Night Live gave a hilarious preview of the parlous future in the week for industry mouthpieces in the week following the accident. The skit title, “The Pepsi Syndrome,” was a send-up of The China Syndrome, the Jane Fonda-Michael Douglas-Jack Lemmon thriller that was still only in its second week when Three Mile Island gave it the kind of unexpected boost that film flacks can only dream of.

“The Pepsi Syndrome,” cited by ex-Senator Al Franken as one of his 10 favorite SNL political sketches, kicked off with Bill Murray spilling the soft drink over the plant’s control board, leading to a meltdown in the plant’s core. Two unconventional people come either to clean up or inspect the damage: a female maintenance worker (Garrett Morris, in drag) and President Jimmy Carter, who, as a former self-advertised “nuclear engineer,” walks in to inspect the core, wearing yellow boots that prove inadequate to the danger he faces. 

I had not seen (or read a transcript of) this scene until now, but I have always recalled my surprise and delight when Rodney Dangerfield came out of nowhere to describe the President’s medical “condition.”

If you want to know more about the scientific and political fallout from Three Mile Island, there are plenty of background sources. (For instance, this past weekend, C-Span re-ran a 2004 interview with J. Samuel Walker, author of Three Mile Island: A Nuclear Crisis in Historical Perspective.) But comedy forms part of the historical record, too, in telling later generations how contemporary society reacted to events—and in this case, it was just plain fun to see.

Joke of the Day (Rodney Dangerfield, on His ‘Real Tough Neighborhood’)

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it." —American stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004), It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004)

Joke of the Day (Rodney Dangerfield, on Luck, Politics and Honesty)

“I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I’d be honest.”—Stand-up comic Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) quoted in Bob Fenster, Laugh Off: The Comedy Showdown Between Real Life and the Pros (2005)

Come to think of it, Rodney looks like all of us this week!

Quote of the Day (Rodney Dangerfield, on His Typical Luck With Women)

"A girl phoned me the other day and said ‘Come on over, there's nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home."--Attributed to comic Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004)

Quote of the Day (James Joyce, on the “Man of Genius”)

“A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery."—James Joyce, Ulysses (1922)

Today is Bloomsday. If you want an idea of the full meaning of that word—and of what a “man of genius” can do with the richness of the English language—then dive into Ulysses.

For years, I asked myself if I would ever get around to reading James Joyce’s demanding epic of 24 hours in an ordinary Dubliner’s life.

Yes I said yes I will Yes.

(If you want an infinitely more spirited rendition of that line from Molly Bloom’s famous soliloquy, see Sally Kellerman in Rodney Dangerfield’s Back to School.)

I finally stopped saying “yes” and did something about it. Nothing could have prepared me for the full panoply of tricks Joyce employed to render the nature of experience.

(Thanks to my friend Brian for the suggestion.)