“When it comes to Christmas, then, Mariah Carey and
the other melisma mamas might be right to leave Jesus out of it altogether and
settle instead into Santa's lap for three minutes of forelock tugging. Most
singers and songwriters do the same, avoiding piety in favor of a frolic. This
is the common course contemporary Christmas music has traveled over the last
several decades. The most prominent trend has been toward what the music
industry calls the ‘novelty song’—a ditty so insubstantial that it wobbles from
funny to infuriating in 32 bars. Excellent examples of novelties in the secular
songbook are ‘How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?’ and ‘Disco Duck’ from ye
olden times on up to the more recent Rock Me Amadeus’ and ‘Crazy Frog.’ And so
my all-Christmas station sputters with ‘The Chipmunk Song,’ ‘Grandma Got Run
Over by a Reindeer,’ ‘Here Comes Santa Claus,’ and ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa
Claus.’ If Weird Al Yankovic suddenly converted and took responsibility for
writing all our new Christmas songs, he could do no worse than ‘Be Claus I Got
High,’ ‘I Want a Boob Job for Christmas,’ or ‘Daddy Please (Don't Get Drunk
This Christmas).’”— Andrew Ferguson, “Jingle Hell: The Debasement of Christmas Songs,” The Weekly Standard, Dec. 21, 2015
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