TV Quote of the Day (‘WKRP in Cincinnati,’ As Jennifer Shows Which Opening Line Works Best)

Waiter [played by Jim Begg] [placing down the next round of drinks sent by strangers to Jennifer, who has been receiving such all night, the waiter stating from whom they were sent]: “Little Guy with Bowtie, Tall Black Man, Cowboy and Longshoreman.”

Jennifer Marlowe [played by Loni Anderson] [seeing that the waiter was referring to Les Nessman, Venus Flytrap, Andy Travis and Johnny Fever, who approach her table]: “Hi, guys!”

Andy Travis [played by Gary Sandy]: “Oh, what's your sign?”

Venus Flytrap [played by Tim Reid]: “You live around here, Mama?”

Dr. Johnny Fever [played by Howard Hesseman]: “Want a little action, sugar?”

Jennifer: “Well, Les, don't you have an opening line?”

Les Nessman [played by Richard Sanders] [looking uneasy, then sits down and picks up a drink]: “Hi, I'm extremely wealthy.”

Jennifer [as Jennifer and Les clink glasses together, cooing]: “Ooh!!!!”—WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 1, Episode 15, “Never Leave Me, Lucille,” original air date Mar. 5, 1979, teleplay by Bill Dial, directed by Asaad Kelada

If you don’t see an actor for years and then learn he or she is dead, the image you retain is still of them from the height of their celebrity. And so it was for Loni Anderson.

Her obituaries this past week said she’d died at age 79, just short of her 80th birthday, but in the mind’s eye of so many of us, she was still Jennifer Marlowe—glamorous, but smarter than all the besotted males at that struggling Midwestern radio station. 

“I’ve done six other series but I’ve stayed closest to my ‘WKRP’ family,” Ms. Anderson said of her castmates in a September 2018 interview on the “Baltimore Media Blog.” “If you’re lucky to have a family like that, cherish it.”

TV Quote of the Day (‘WKRP in Cincinnati,’ on Innovative Weather Forecasting and Traffic Reporting)

Andy Travis [played by Gary Sandy]: “Now, you have this thing you call ‘Eyewitness Weather.’ What is that?”

Les Nessman [played by Richard Sanders]: “Well, I just look out the window and witness the weather.”

Andy: “Uh-huh. And what about this station's traffic helicopter?”

Les: “We don't have one.”

Andy: “So why do we have helicopter reports?”

Les: “Well, that's just me. See, I just get on the air and do this..”[standing at attention, beating his chest to make propeller sounds] "…The traffic today is light to heavy..."—  WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 1, Episode 1, “Pilot: Part 1,” original air date Sept. 18, 1978, teleplay by Hugh Wilson, directed by Jay Sandrich

The way things are going in this country with federal budget cuts—including at the National Weather Service—that “Eyewitness Weather” in which Les takes such pride might be spreading across the country.

Gee, I wonder how he would account for climate change?

TV Quote of the Day (‘WKRP in Cincinnati,’ With a Conspiracy-Minded Newsman)

Arthur Carlson [played by Gordon Jump]: “Look, Les. I know you got a great nose for news. But, uh, you're also a little conspiracy-minded, now aren't ya, huh?”

Les Nessman [played by Richard Sanders]: “I wouldn't say so.”

Carlson: “Come on, Les. Remember the way you broadcast Bing Crosby's death? ‘First Presley, now Crosby. Just a coincidence? I wonder.’"— WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 1, Episode 2, “Pilot: Part 2,” original air date Sept. 25, 1978, teleplay by Hugh Wilson, directed by Michael Zinberg

Truly, Les was a man before his time. Think what he could have done today on social media and cable news!

TV Quote of the Day (‘WKRP in Cincinnati,’ on the Station’s Unbelievable Summer Promo)

[The radio station is getting involved in a big charity promotion.]

Arthur Carlson [played by Gordon Jump] “And the theme this year...” [thumbs up] “…is Surf City, USA.”

Jennifer Marlowe [played by Loni Anderson] [incredulously]: “In Cincinnati, Ohio?” — WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 2, Episode 21, “Filthy Pictures: Part 1,” original air date Mar. 3, 1980, teleplay by Steve Marshall and Dan Guntzelman, directed by Rod Daniel

TV Quote of the Day (‘WKRP in Cincinnati,’ As the Station Deals with ‘Hoodlum Rock’)

[The station is promoting the band “Scum of the Earth,” pioneers of what they call “hoodlum rock.”]

Jennifer Marlowe [played by Loni Anderson]: “Where is Mr. Pievy?”

Dog/Sir Charles Weatherbee [played by Michael Des Barres]: “He got out of the car. That's actually the last we saw of him, I think.”

Dr. Johnny Fever [played by Howard Hessemann]: “Was the car moving when he got out?”

Dog: “Yes... I believe it was.”

Arthur Carlson [played by Gordon Jump]: “Why would he do a thing like that?”

Blood [played by Peter Elbling]: “We don't know. But that's our story, and we're sticking to it.” — WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 1, Episode 4, “Hoodlum Rock,” original air date October 9, 1978, teleplay by Hugh Wilson, directed by Michael Zinberg 

TV Quote of the Day (‘WKRP in Cincinnati,’ As Johnny Caravella Morphs Into ‘Dr. Johnny Fever’)

[Johnny Caravella, a much-travelled deejay, fired in a prior radio gig for using the word “booger” on air, has just been told by new station manager Andy Travis that the new format change to rock ‘n’ roll means he won’t have to play the Hallelujah Tabernacle Choir’s cover of "You're Having My Baby" anymore.]

Johnny Caravella [played by Howard Hesseman] [about changing the format of the station]: “Ah, listen, you, you do mean now?”

Andy Travis [played by Gary Sandy] [as he leaves the control booth]: “Yes. And... you can say ‘booger’ if you want to.”

Johnny [gleefully flinging an old record off a turntable]: “Well, it's good-bye to the elevator music!”

[Johnny laughs as he carefully places a different record on the turntable]

Johnny [with a sinister grin slowly emerging on his face]: “Do it!”

Johnny [making the needles scratching the record sound effect, as he begins to speak on the air excitedly]: “All right, Cincinnati, it is time for this town to get down! Now, you got Johnny...Dr. Johnny Fever, and I am burnin' up in here! Whoo! Whoo! We all in critical condition, babies, but you can tell me where it hurts, because I got the healing prescription here from the big 'KRP musical medicine cabinet. Now I am talking about your 50,000-watt intensive care unit, babies! So just sit right down, relax, open your ears real wide and say, ‘Give it to me straight, Doctor, I can take it!’"

[Johnny starts Ted Nugent's "Queen of the Forest" on the record, flails his arms in the air in excitement, then sits in his chair grabbing the mic.]

Johnny [putting on his sunglasses]: “I almost forgot, fellow babies: ‘booger!’"— WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 1, Episode 1, “Pilot: Part 1,” original air date Sept. 18, 1978, teleplay by Hugh Wilson, directed by Jay Sandrich

The four-year run of the fine sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati covered exactly my time as an undergrad. No matter how busy I got, I always tried to make room in my schedule for the show.

Although the kind of workplace ensemble comedy that became so common in the decade after the premiere of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, WKRP seemed to reach its zany heights with its most extreme character, Dr. Johnny Fever. I felt particularly sad, then, when I read that the man who brought him to life, Howard Hesseman, had passed away this weekend.

Hesseman would have similar moderately long stints over the following decade—in the final season of One Day at a Time, as Ann Romano’s second husband, and Head of the Class, as a teacher of exceptional students. But he made his biggest impact with WKRP, perhaps because, back in the day, he was familiar with Johnny’s lifestyle.

None of that is meant to deny Hesseman’s very real talent as a versatile character actor, demonstrated in over 50 years of TV credits (starting with a distinct contrast with Dr. Johnny: a hot dog vendor in an auto show, in the final season of The Andy Griffith Show.)

TV Quote of the Day (‘WKRP in Cincinnati,’ In Which Dr. Johnny Admits the Obvious)

“Doctor” Johnny Fever [played by Howard Hessemann]: [slumped at his desk, then finally drowsily speaking into the microphone to his music listeners at the radio station]: “The Doctor is not feelin' too good today. The Doctor was a bad boy last night. The Doctor overmedicated!” — WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 1, Episode 22, “Preacher,” original air date June 7, 1979, teleplay by Bill Dial, directed by Michael Zinberg

TV Quote of the Day (‘WKRP in Cincinnati,’ As Office Duties Are Figured Out)

Jennifer Marlowe [played by Loni Anderson]: “You want me, Mr. Carlson?”

Arthur “Big Guy” Carlson [played by Gordon Jump]: “Oh, yeah. Come in, Jennifer. Have a seat.”

Jennifer: “No, thank you.”

Arthur: “Well, all right. At this particular point in time, I would like to dictate a press release.”

Jennifer: “I don't take dictation.”

Arthur: “What? Alright, I guess I can do this thing myself. It's probably going to be a long meeting though; so why don't you get coffee for all the guys here?”

Jennifer: “I don't get coffee, Mr. Carlson. We agreed.”

Arthur: “Oh, yeah.”

Jennifer: “You have to draw the line somewhere.”

Arthur: “You got that right.”

Jennifer: “Will there be anything else I can do?”

Arthur: “No. I think that about does it.”

Jennifer:  “Thank you.”

Arthur: “Oh, no. Thank you.”

Les Nessman [played by Richard Sanders]: “How does she get away with that?”

Herb Tarlek [played by Frank Bonner]: “Are you kidding?”— WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 1, Episode 7, “Turkeys Away,” original air date October 30, 1978, teleplay by Bill Dial, directed by Michael Zinberg

TV Quote of the Day (‘WKRP in Cincinnati,’ With a Disastrous Turkey Promo)

Les Nessman [played by Richard Sanders] [reporting from the Pinedale Shopping Mall]: “I'm here with hundreds of people who have gathered to witness what has been described as perhaps the greatest turkey event in Thanksgiving Day history. All we know for sure is that in a very few moments there are going to be a lot of happy people out here. Now the crowd is...”

[passers-by gawk at Les]

Les: “The... the crowd is uh... curious but well behaved. And I think I hear something now. Uh... The crowd is moving out into the parking area. And... oh yes! I can see it now. It's a... it's a... helicopter and it's coming this way!”

Andy Travis [played by Gary Sandy] [listening from the studio]: “A helicopter?”

Les: “It's flying something behind it and I can't quite make it out. It's a large banner and it says H A P P Y... T H A N K S...” [The rest of the crew in the studio simultaneously spells out the rest, as if helping him along.] “giving... from W... K... R... P! What a sight, ladies and gentlemen. What a sight. The 'copter seems to circling the parking area now. I guess it's looking for a place to land. No! Something just came out of the back of a helicopter. It's a dark object, perhaps a skydiver plummeting to the earth from only two thousand feet in the air... There's a third... No parachutes yet... Those can't be skydivers. I can't tell just yet what they are but... Oh my God! They're turkeys! Oh no! Johnny can you get this? Oh, they're crashing to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! This is terrible! Everyone's running around pushing each other. Oh my goodness! Oh, the humanity! People are running about. The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Folks, I don't know how much longer... The crowd is running for their lives. I think I'm going to step inside. I can't stand here and watch this anymore. No, I can't go in there. Children are searching for their mothers and oh, not since the Hindenberg tragedy has there been anything like this. I don't know how much longer I can hold my position here, Johnny. The crowd...”

Dr. Johnny Fever [played by Howard Hesseman] [listening from the studio]: “Les? Les? Les, are you there? Les isn't there. Thanks for that on-the-spot report, Les. For those of you who've just tuned in, the Pinedale Shopping Mall has just been bombed with live turkeys. Film at eleven.”— WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 1, Episode 7, “Turkeys Away,” original air date October 30, 1978, teleplay by Bill Dial, directed by Michael Zinberg