Quote of the Day (P.J. O'Rourke, on America’s Problems and Politicians)

“Our nation faces a multitude of puzzling, complex and abstruse problems. Most Americans aren't sure what to do about them. But we lack politicians who have the courage to say, ‘I’m not sure what to do about them either.’ We even we lack politicians who have the courage to say, ‘I’m not sure what ‘abstruse’ means, either.’”—American satirist and libertarian conservative P.J. O'Rourke (1947-2022), “Who Knows What We Need? Not Me,” Washington Post, Jan. 23, 2020

Quote of the Day (P. J. O'Rourke, on God’s Presence in the U.S.)

“After the events of the 20th century, God, quite reasonably, left Europe. But He’s still here in the United States. The majority of Americans are Christians, and Christians can be divided into two kinds, the kind who think you should get Jesus and the kind who think Jesus is going to get you.”—American humorist P. J. O'Rourke, “Letter to Our European Friends,” The Weekly Standard, Feb. 4, 2008, reproduced on the Web site of the Cato Institute, Jan. 29, 2008

Quote of the Day (P.J. O'Rourke, on Eating as a ‘Vital Skill’ in Campaigning)

“A vital skill in running for office — especially during presidential primaries — is the ability to eat six pancake breakfasts and five spaghetti dinners a day at town halls, volunteer fire departments, VFW Posts, Elk Lodges, the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions Club, American Legion, Knights of Columbus and B'nai B'rith.” —American humorist P.J. O'Rourke, “Politicians Ought to be Licensed,” Washington Post, Oct. 23, 2019

Quote of the Day (P. J. O'Rourke, With a Helpful Tip for Career Advancement)

“The most important way to assure career advancement is to be helpful. If someone has too much to do, help him out. Maybe you'll have a coworker who has completed five or six very successful projects. He probably won't have time to take credit for all of them. Help him out.”— P. J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People (2007)

Quote of the Day (P. J. O'Rourke, on Food-Fight Weapons)

“The important thing in a food fight is weaponry. Forget bread rolls and sugar. Linguine garrotes are much better, and nothing tops a stuffed pork chop hit with your shoe so that the dressing is projected across the room.” — P. J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People (1994)

The image accompanying this post is of John Belushi, preparing for culinary combat in Animal House (1978).

Quote of the Day (P. J. O’Rourke, on Road Hazards in the Third World)

“What would be a road hazard anyplace else, in the Third World is probably the road. There are two techniques for coping with this. One is to drive very fast so your wheels ‘get on top’ of the ruts and your car sails over the ditches, gullies and pot holes. Predictably, this will result in disaster. The other technique is to drive very slow. This will result in disaster. No matter how slowly you drive into a ten-foot hole, you’re still going to get hurt. You’ll find the locals themselves can’t make up their minds. Either they drive at 2 mph — which they do when there’s absolutely no way to get around them. Or else they drive at 100 mph — which they do coming right at you when you finally get a chance to pass the guy going 2 mph.”— P. J. O’Rourke, “Third World Driving Hits and Tips,” in Holidays in Hell: In Which Our Intrepid Reporter Travels to the World's Worst Places and Asks, "What's Funny About This" (1988)