TV Quote of the Day (‘M*A*S*H,’ In Which Klinger Tells Hawkeye and B.J. Who’s Funnier in the 4077th)

Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger [played by Jamie Farr] [responding to a question from Hawkeye Pierce and B.J. Hunnicutt about which of the two is funnier]: “I'm writing my Uncle Abdul about what it's like over here—doctors, nurses, saving lives. Well, I got a commanding officer who dresses me up in his clothes and sits me on a horse named Sophie so he can paint his own picture. There's a priest writing war ditties. And a snooty major who pays me twenty bucks to go out into the woods with him and watch him blow up a pigeon with a land mine. And if that doesn't beat all, I got a head nurse who shoots unarmed luggage. All you guys do is tell jokes. What the hell's so funny about that?”— M*A*S*H, Season 8, Episode 12, “Dear Uncle Abdul,” original air date Dec. 3, 1979, teleplay by John Rappaport and Jim Mulligan, directed by William Jurgensen