Quote of the Day (Elinor Lipman, on Her Wide Range of Grudges)

“My grudges come in all sizes and flavors: there are the mild ones (failure to return calls, to RSVP, or to send a thank-you note for the hand- knit baby sweater with the hand-blown buttons); the ancient grudges (mean boys and idiot bosses); the vanquished grudges (wrote a letter, filed a grievance, called the mother); the consumer grudges (I've never returned to the chichi kitchen boutique whose snobby owner was so rude to Aunt Hattie, age eighty-eight, just because she asked if they carried Salad Shooters); the noble grudges (against bigots, anti-Semites, and bullies); the social grudges (rudeness, cluelessness, knowingly seating me at a terrible table at a reception); grudges once removed (against total strangers who have been mean to my friends either in person or via a book review); defunct grudges (against the dead, such as my first-grade teacher, who made the entire class take their seats when meek me accidentally bumped into the window, bumped into a window, causing the shade to fly up during an indoor, rainy-day recess).”— Elinor Lipman, “Good Grudgekeeping,” in I Can’t Complain: (All Too) Personal Essays (2013)

Quote of the Day (Elinor Lipman, On the Dating Game for Middle-Aged Women)

“Another woman might have hinted that penthouse B was awash with chemistry and queen-size beds. But I didn’t. I was flummoxed by his ambitious smile and felt nothing except his clammy hand on my thigh.

“I looked down. I said, ‘I just met you.’

“ 'I know! And I like what I see.’

“ 'I meant take your hand off my leg.’”—Elinor Lipman, The View From Penthouse B (2013)