Quote of the Day (Dave Barry, on What It Takes to be a Top Executive)

"I don't mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European suit. You also need the correct shirt and tie." —Humor columnist Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top: How to Become the Head of a Major Corporation in Roughly a Week (1986)  

Quote of the Day (Dave Barry, on Summer-Camp Supervisors)

“Whatever type of camp you choose, you need not worry about the quality of the supervision your child will receive, because summer camps make a determined effort to hire staff members who meet the highest possible standards of maturity and responsibility. But eventually they give up and hire college students.”— American Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry, “Summer-Camp Memories of the Rain of Frogs,” Chicago Tribune, June 6, 1993

Joke of the Day (Dave Barry, on the Importance of a Good Resume)

"A good resume is more than just a piece of paper. It can mean the difference between not getting a job and not even coming close." —Humor columnist Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top: How to Become the Head of a Major Corporation in Roughly a Week (1986)  

Happy Labor Day, friends…

Quote of the Day (Dave Barry, on Waiting in Line for Coffee)

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”—Humorist Dave Barry, “Decaf Poopachino,” in Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down (2011)

Quote of the Day (Dave Barry, With the Ultimate Definition of ‘User’)

“USER, n.: The word computer professionals use when they mean 'idiot.'"—Humorist Dave Barry, “Laugh Lines: What the Tech?” Reader’s Digest, January 2014

Joke of the Day (Dave Barry, on ‘The Best Time To Go to Disney World’)

“The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962.”— Dave Barry, Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need (1991)

Quote of the Day (Dave Barry, on What He Would Require the President to Read)

“The Brothers Karamazov, by Dostoyevsky. I was required to read this book in English class during my freshman year at Haverford College, but I never finished it. I seriously doubt that Dostoyevsky ever finished it. So I figure if the president read it, he could tell me what happens.”—Humorist Dave Barry, on what book he would require the President to read, in “By the Book: Dave Barry,” The New York Times Book Review, February 3, 2013

Barry wrote this during the administration of Barack Obama, who might well have read some Dostoyevsky during a Literary Humanities class at Columbia University. (Come to think of it, even George W. Bush might have tried to wrestle with it—though dismissed, not without justification, as an intellectual lightweight, he might have tried to conquer the massive Russian novel if challenged by Karl Rove, who had similar contests with the President concerning books of political science and history.)

As for the current incumbent: Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! His affinity for things Russian extends to deals and bare-chested strongmen, not for literary classics. Those are for losers. Or hadn’t you heard?

Quote of the Day (Dave Barry, on Journalistic ‘Objectivity’ and Science)

“We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective. We are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.” —Dave Barry, “Ok, Who Stole The Universe?”, Chicago Tribune, Jan. 29, 1995