You may not realize this at first glance, Faithful Reader.
But onscreen, this may be the oddest line in a movie that continually comes out
of left field.
“Jon Peters,” the character who says it, is,
like the real person he so strongly resembles, a Hollywood
hairdresser-turned-producer who for several years was the creative and romantic
partner of Barbra Streisand.
Before production began, screenwriter-director Paul Thomas Anderson approached Peters—now, at 79, retired—to see if he would mind
being represented in Licorice Pizza.
Anderson had good reason for such caution. In his
younger days, Peters gained a reputation for volatility, even in a town known
for screaming and more forms of bullying than could ever be dreamed of in a
schoolyard.
This movie would by no means depict Peters as an
avatar of benevolence. Instead, he would come off as egotistical, loud,
bombastic, profane, crude, sexist, promiscuous, and manic, given to—let’s
see—shouting at an assistant and teenagers, throwing a trash can through a plate-glass
window, and—as you can see in the accompanying image—shamelessly flirting with
a much younger woman right before the horrified young guy who wants
her himself.
(Not surprisingly, seven years ago, Peters informed The
Hollywood Report that he was “the Trump of Hollywood.”)
And even physically—especially
physically—Peters couldn’t claim it wasn’t him. With his dark hair, trim beard,
polyester suit, and glowering eyes, Bradley Cooper would be a dead ringer for
the real thing.
Maybe Peters figured he would have no ground to stand
on if he ever brought a case for defamation. Considering the tales springing
from memoirs and sexual-harassment litigation about him over the years, any
lawsuit would be ready-made for dismissal because he did not have a reputation
irretrievably damaged to begin with.
In any case, Peters didn’t object to what Anderson had
in mind, but made one request, according to the director’s November 2021
interview with Brent Lang in Variety: Please use the above
line—which, you’ll be surprised to know, was his standard, successful come-on
to ladies back in the day.
I don’t know about you, but I did a double-take when I
read this. Rumored to have inspired Warren Beatty’s libidinous beautician
in Shampoo, Peters has been linked, in addition to Streisand, to Lesley
Ann Warren, Kim Basinger, Sharon Stone, and Pamela Anderson.
Years ago, young men would have killed to know his
go-to words for opening a lady’s heart. And now, after finding out, they can
only think, you mean, this is it?
(The image accompanying this post shows Bradley Cooper
as Peters, Cooper Hoffman as youthful entrepreneur Gary Valentine, and Alan
Haim as—well, “Alana,” being complimented by Peters for truck-driving skills
that Gary clearly doesn’t have.)
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