TV Quote of the Day (George Carlin, on the Differences Between Football and Baseball)

“There are things about the words surrounding football and baseball, which give it all away:

“Football is technological; baseball is pastoral.

“Football is played in a stadium; baseball is played in the park.

“In football, you wear a helmet; in baseball, you wear a cap.

“Football is played on an enclosed, rectangular grid, and every one of them is the same size; baseball is played on an ever-widening angle that reaches to infinity, and every park is different!

“Football is rigidly timed; baseball has no time limit, we don’t know when it’s gonna end! We might even have extra innings!

“In football, you get a penalty; in baseball, you make an error – whoops!

“The object in football is to march downfield and penetrate enemy territory, and get into the end zone; in baseball, the object is to go home! ‘I’m going home!’

“And, in football, they have the clip, the hit, the block, the tackle, the blitz, the bomb, the offense and the defense; in baseball, they have… the sacrifice.”—American stand-up comic George Carlin (1937-2008), guest-host monologue, Saturday Night Live, Season 1, Episode 1, original air date Oct. 11, 1975

The NFL preseason starts in only two weeks, but it might as well have begun already, judging from the chatter on sports talk radio.

You know what I say to football? Go away! Let us baseball fans enjoy our game while we can. As Mr. Carlin recognized, it’s a far gentler game—one that we need.