Harry, the Barber
[played by Richard Deacon]: “Will you roll up your sleeves, please?”
Jack: “What? Roll up
my sleeves for a haircut?”
Harry: “Don’t you want
your Novocaine?”
Jack: “Don’t be so
funny! Just give me a haircut.”
Harry: “Yes, sir.”
Jack [calling for
the owner]: “Andre?”
Andre [played by
Rolfe Sedan]: “Yes, Mr. Benny?”
Jack: “While I’m having
a haircut, I’ll have a manicure, too.”
Andre: “A manicure?
Certainly. I’ll get one of the girls.”
[Andre asks the trio of women in the shop, each of
whom refuses.]
Andre [pleadingly]:
“Now,
girls, you’ve got to help me through this. Who took care of him last time?”
Helen: “I did. For a dollar
and a half, I worked on his nails for an hour.”
Andre: “An hour for a
manicure? Why so long?”
Helen: “When I got
through with his nails, he took off his shoes.”— The
Jack Benny Program, Season 11, Episode 4, “Jack’s Hong Kong Suit,” original air date Nov. 6, 1960, teleplay by Sam Perrin, George
Balzer, Al
Gordon, and Hal Goldman, directed by Frederick De Cordova
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