Monday, January 6, 2020

TV Quote of the Day (Monty Python, on Auto Insurance From ‘Mr. Devious’)

(Cut to Mr. Devious's insurance office. Devious and a man are sitting there.) 

Devious (played by Michael Palin): “What do you want?”

Man (played by Graham Chapman): “Well, I've come about your special fully comprehensive motor insurance policy offer...“

Devious: “What was that?”

Man: “Fully comprehensive motor insurance for one-and-eight pence.” 

Devious: “Oh, oh, yes ... yeah well, unfortunately, guv, that offer's no longer valid. You see, it turned out not to be economically viable, so we now have a totally new offer...” 

Man: “What's that?”

Devious: “A nude lady.”

Man: “A nude lady?” 

Devious: “Yes. You get a nude lady with a fully comprehensive motor insurance. If you just want third-party she has to keep her bra on, and if it's just theft...” 

Man: “No, no, I don't really want that, Mr. er... Mr...” 

Devious: “Devious.” 

Man: “Mr. Devious, I just want to know what it would cost me to have a fully comprehensive insurance on a 1970 Aston Martin.” 

Devious: “Aston Martin?”

Man: “Yes.”

Devious: (quickly) “Five hundred quid.” 

Man: “Five hundred quid?” 

Devious: “Forty quid.” 

Man: “Forty quid?” 

Devious: “Forty quid and a nude lady.” 

Man: “No, no, I'm not interested in a nude lady.” 

Devious: “Dirty books?”— Monty Python's Flying Circus, Season 2, Episode 4, “The Buzz Aldrin Show,” original air date Oct. 20, 1970, directed by Ian MacNaughton

(The image accompanying this post shows Michael Palin as “Mr. Devious.”)

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