Friday, June 8, 2018

TV Quote of the Day (‘Frasier,’ in Which Niles Gets Prematurely High)


[Niles Crane mistakenly thinks he’s eaten a pot brownie.]

Niles Crane [played by David Hyde-Pierce]: “Aren't you going to ask me what's up?”

Frasier Crane [played by Kelsey Grammer]: “Didn't intend to, no.”

Niles: “I'd like you to.”

Frasier: “All right.  What's up?”

Niles: [gleefully] “I am.  I'm as high as the Himalayas!  If I were a city in Germany, I'd be High-delburg!  Is Dad home yet?”

Frasier: “No.”

Niles: “I'll use this opportunity to up my dosage.”

[He takes out the remainder of the "pot brownie," and eats another small piece.]

Frasier: “Oh, Niles!  You realize that this is illegal?  Did you actually drive yourself here?”

Niles: “I'm a little too toasted for that, Frasier.  No, the minute I knew I was getting baked tonight, I called a cab.  And I printed my name and address on a card in my pocket in case I'm still too crispy to speak to the cab driver taking me home.”

Frasier: “I judge by all this rich terminology that you've done some research?”

Niles: “Yes, I know all the symptoms I can expect to experience.  I'm especially looking forward to something called the ‘munchies’ stage.  It's where one enjoys bizarre food combinations. [opens the shopping bag he's carrying] I'm thinking of pairing this Chilean sea bass with an aggressive Zinfandel!”—Frasier, Season 11, Episode 11, “High Holidays,” original air date Dec. 9, 2003, teleplay by Christopher Lloyd, directed by Sheldon Epps

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