Shoe Thief [played
by Joe Liss]: “Thanks.”
Larry:
“I think they're mine.”
Shoe Thief:
“You're kidding.”
Larry:
“Kidding? No, they're my shoes.”
Shoe Thief:
“They're your shoes?”
Larry:
“Yeah.”
Shoe Thief:
“How could they be your shoes?”
Larry:
“How could they be? Because that guy gave them to you by mistake the other day.”
Shoe Thief:
“Well, that's weird.”
Larry:
“What? What's weird?”
Shoe Thief:
“That he would give me those shoes.”
Larry:
“No, that's not weird. What's weird is that you would put them on. That's
what's weird.”
Shoe Thief:
“Aw, you mean it's not weird that he would give me these shoes?”
Larry:
“No, that's a mistake.”
Shoe Thief:
“They're not my shoes and he gave them to me.”
Larry:
“Yeah, that's a mistake. That's an honest mistake. What's weird is that you
would take shoes that don't belong to you and put them on. That's weird.”
Shoe Thief:
“Or even weirder that you left without even your shoes.”
Larry:
“That's not that weird, I had nothing else to wear.”
Shoe Thief:
“Well, that would be kinda weird.”
Larry:
“No, that's gonna be weird for you now after I get the shoes back. That'll
be weird.”—Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 1, Episode 2, “Ted and Mary,”
original air date Oct. 22, 2000, teleplay by Larry David, directed by David
Steinberg
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