Quote of the Day (Garry Shandling, on His Supposed ‘Intimacy Issue’)

“My friends tell me that I have an intimacy issue—but I don't think they know me.”—American stand-up comic, writer, director, producer, and actor Garry Shandling (1949-2016), quoted by Tad Friend, “Annals of Hollywood: The Eighteen-Year Itch,” The New Yorker, Apr. 13, 1998

The image accompanying this post, of Garry Shandling with then-girlfriend Linda Doucett, was taken Aug. 1, 1988, at that year’s Emmy Awards, by Alan Light.

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Larry Sanders Show,’ As the Talk-Show Host Becomes Involved in Staffers’ Personal Lives)

[With two staffers spotted fooling around all over the workplace—not just in their boss’s office, but within view of him, sidekick Hank, and a guest onstage, where they can be distracted—talk-show host Larry Sanders feels obliged to reprove the couple.]

Larry Sanders [played by Garry Shandling, only his back seen in this picture]: “I’m in the middle of a Peter Falk interview, and if we have to look up and see you doing that, what are you thinking?”

Jerry Capen [played by Jeremy Piven, pictured] [taking Sally’s hands]: “Sally and I are very much in love, and we are spontaneous people.”

[Sally reaches out to protest, but Jerry brushes her off.]

Jerry: “Hold on, hold on. If you’re lucky to find someone…”

Sally [played by Kimberley Kates] [putting her hands together, pleading]: “Mr. Sanders…Can I say something?”

Larry: “Please.”

Sally: “I’ve accepted a position on Saturday Night Live as a talent coordinator.”

Jerry [stunned and angry]: “What?”

Sally: “I’ll be leaving for New York on Tuesday.”

Jerry: “When were you planning on telling me?”

Sally: “I don’t know. I didn’t know when to tell you.”

Jerry [sarcastically]: “Oh, this is a good time. I don’t think you ever were going to tell me.”

Sally: “I was going to tell you tonight.”

Jerry: “Oh, really? You really were going to tell me?”

Larry [philosophically, like a marriage counselor]: “Any time is a good time for open and honest communication. This is a good start.”

Jerry: “I can’t believe this. I—I—I put everything…” [As Larry begins to interrupt]. “Hold on a second.” [Back to Sally] “I put everything on the line for you.”

Sally: “What did you think this was? We had a great time, but this is another great opportunity for me.”

Jerry: “In New York?”

Larry: “Good. You’ll have a little time to get away from each other, test the relationship, and—this is very positive.”

Sally: “Besides that, this gives me a chance to be with my boyfriend again.”

Jerry [shouting]: “You have a boyfriend!”

Sally: “Yes, I do…”

Jerry: “Oh, God!”

Sally: “…a writer on the Letterman Show.”

Larry: “That is wrong on so many levels. I don’t know where to start.”—The Larry Sanders Show, Season 1, Episode 8, “Out of the Loop,” original air date Oct. 3, 1992, teleplay by Marjorie Gross, directed by Ken Kwapis

Quote of the Day (Anthony Powell, on Human Relationships)

“Human relationships flourish and decay, quickly and silently, so that those concerned scarcely know how brittle, or how inflexible, the ties that bind them have become.” —English novelist Anthony Powell (1905-2000), A Dance to the Music of Time: A Question of Upbringing (1951)

Tweet of the Day (Sarah Kay, on ‘Emotional Real Estate’)

“Resolution: Don't let someone take up emotional real estate if they aren't paying rent.”— @kaysarahsera (Poet-performer Sarah Kay), tweet of Dec. 27, 2016

Quote of the Day (Carly Ann Filbin, on ‘Sweaty Cuddles During Hot Days’)

Those warm cuddles during cold nights will soon turn into sweaty cuddles during hot days. When the sun comes out, you don’t want a human blanket by your side covering up the arms you worked on all winter or distracting you from your new collection of Forever 21 rompers.” —Comic actress Carly Ann Filbin (Single Blonde Failure) quoted in David Goldberg, “Escape Cuffing Season With Comedian Carly Ann Filbin,” TimeOut New York, Apr. 11, 2017

Song Lyric of the Day (Carly Simon, on Pretending)

"And you know you can't pretend it's Camelot,

Then start to run when things get hot." —Carly Simon, “Half a Chance,” from her Another Passenger LP (1976)

Quote of the Day (Comic Whitney Cummings, on Lies in Relationships)

“Guys don’t know this, but you all lie the same way. You know you’re being lied to because you repeat the question in your answer to buy time for your horrible lying. ‘Where were you at 3 in the morning?’ ‘Where was I? Until 3 in the morning?’ It’s like, could you not have made up your lie in the car on the way over?” — Stand-up comic Whitney Cummings, quoted in Jacob Bernstein, “In Her Own Zone, Making Them Howl,” The New York Times, Feb. 8, 2015

Quote of the Day (Dave Barry, on the ‘Guy Brain’)

“The guy brain is not well-suited to grasping relationships. But it’s good at analyzing and solving mechanical problems. For example, if a couple owns a house, and they want to repaint it so they can sell it, it will probably be the guy who will take charge of this project. He will methodically take the necessary measurements, calculate the total surface area, and determine the per-gallon coverage capacity of the paint; then, using his natural analytical and mathematical skills, he will apply himself to the problem of figuring out a good excuse not to paint the house.”—Dave Barry, “Tips for Women: How to Have a Relationship with a Guy,” from Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys (1995)