Movie Quote of the Day (‘A Christmas Story,’ on How Ralphie’s Old Man Was Like the Old Masters of Painting)

Ralphie [narrating, as an adult] [voice of Jean Shepherd]: “My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oil or clay. It was his true medium: a master.”—A Christmas Story (1983), screenplay by Jean Shepherd, Leigh Brown and Bob Clark, based on Shepherd’s In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, directed by Bob Clark

Movie Quote of the Day (‘A Christmas Story,’ After the Turkey Disaster)

Narrator (Ralphie as an adult): [voice of Jean Shepherd] [After the Christmas turkey is stolen by the neighbors' dogs] “The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!”— A Christmas Story (1983), screenplay by Jean Shepherd, Leigh Brown, and Bob Clark, based on Shepherd’s novel In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, directed by Bob Clark

Movie Quote of the Day (‘A Christmas Story,’ on ‘The Most Unthinkable Disasters’ at Yuletide)

“Ah, life is like that. Sometimes at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at its zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us.”—Narrator (voice of Jean Shepherd), A Christmas Story, screenplay by Jean Shepherd, Leigh Brown and Bob Clark, directed by Bob Clark (1983)

Sam Kashner’s recent Vanity Fair article on the making of A Christmas Story reminded me of this hilarious scene that sometimes gets lost amid the more famous sequences most listeners fondly about (e.g., Flick getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole).  Jean Shepherd’s droll lines above occur as The Old Man is sitting down to read the comics, blissfully unaware of the dogs trooping past who are about to devour his family’s dinner.

I Triple-Dog Dare Ya to Have a Merry Christmas!

If you don’t…well, what happened to Ralphie could happen to you!