TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ on Being Beaten Up in School)

Dr. Sheldon Cooper [played by Jim Parsons]: “When one gets beaten up every other day in school, one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing. Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as ‘one.’”— The Big Bang Theory, Season 3, Episode 23, “The Lunar Excitation,” original air date May 24, 2010, teleplay by Lee Aronsohn, Steven Molaro, and Steve Holland, directed by Peter Chakos

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ As Sheldon Says the Wrong Thing Again)

Sandy [played by Yeardley Smith]: “So, Mister Cooper, you're looking for a job.”

Dr. Sheldon Cooper [played by Jim Parsons]: “A menial job. Like yours.”

Sandy: “Why, thank you for noticing. I'm Menial Employee of the Month.” — The Big Bang Theory, Season 3, Episode 14, “The Einstein Approximation,” original air date Feb. 1, 2010, teleplay by Steven Molaro and Eric Kaplan, directed by Mark Cendrowski

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ As Sheldon Encounters Nemesis Wil Wheaton)

“Well, well, well, if it isn't Wil Wheaton. The Green Goblin to my Spider Man. The Pope Paul V to my Galileo. The Internet Explorer to my Firefox.” —Dr. Sheldon Cooper [played by Jim Parsons], to bowling rival Will Wheaton, in The Big Bang Theory, Season 3, Episode 19, “The Wheaton Recurrence,” original air date Apr 12, 2010, teleplay by Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady, and David Goetsch, directed by Mark Cendrowski

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ On Why Physics Is Like ‘Lost’)

Leonard Hofstadter [played by Johnny Galecki]: “It just turns out that physics is exactly like 'Lost.' It started out great and turns out just a big ol' waste of time.”— The Big Bang Theory, Season 11, Episode 2, “The Retraction Reaction,” original air date Oct. 2, 2017, teleplay by David Goetsch, Eric Kaplan, and Anthony Del Broccolo, directed by Mark Cendrowski

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ on How Much Leonard’s Mom Is Messing With His Brain)

Leonard Hofstadter [played by Johnny Galecki]: “She's only been here a day and a half and I'm seriously considering alcoholism as a new career path.”

Penny [played by Kaley Cuoco]: “Hey, I talked to her for five minutes yesterday and I've been half bombed ever since.”

Leonard: “You can't let her get into your head.”

Penny: “My head? What about yours??!!”

Leonard: “It's too late for me. My head is her summer house.” —The Big Bang Theory, Season 2, Episode 15, “The Maternal Capacitance,” original air date Feb. 9, 2009, teleplay by Richard Rosenstock and Steven Molaro, directed by Mark Cendrowski

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ As Amy Refuses to Take Sheldon to the Dentist)

Amy Farrah Fowler [played by Mayim Bialik] [explaining why she can’t take Sheldon to the dentist]: “I'm sorry, Sheldon. I'm busy. I'm right in the middle of my addiction study. I've got a lab full of alcoholic monkeys, and tomorrow's the day we switch them to O'Douls.” — The Big Bang Theory, Season 5, Episode 15, “The Friendship Contraction,” original air date Feb. 2, 2011, teleplay by Bill Prady, Steven Molaro, and Steve Holland, directed by Mark Cendrowski

Clearly, a bigger emergency than Sheldon’s!

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ In Which a Childhood Idol Assesses Sheldon’s Current Relationship)

Dr. Sheldon Cooper [played by Jim Parsons]: “It's been pointed out by my girlfriend that I may have been annoying to you.”

Arthur Jeffries, aka “Professor Proton” [played by Bob Newhart]: “She sounds like a keeper.” — The Big Bang Theory, Season 7, Episode 7, “The Proton Displacement,” original air date Nov 7, 2013, teleplay by Steven Molaro, Eric Kaplan, and Jim Reynolds directed by Mark Cendrowski

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ As Bob Newhart Figures Out the Genius Among the Nerds)

[Initially, Sheldon and Leonard are surprised to find at their door—out of breath from having to take the stairs—an elderly actor named Arthur Jeffries. But they end up delighted to learn that he is the hero of their childhood, the host of a science show, “Professor Proton.”]

Dr. Sheldon Cooper [played by Jim Parsons]: “Professor Proton, it’s an honor to meet you.”

Arthur [played by Bob Newhart] [still exhausted]: “Just, just call me Arthur.”

Sheldon: “Leonard, you hear that? Professor Proton said I should call him Arthur. That means we’re friends.”

Arthur: “No. A friend would’ve, would’ve told me about the elevator.”

Sheldon: “Look at me. I can get as close to you as I want without my mom saying it’s going to ruin my eyes.”

Arthur [turning to Leonard, confused and disturbed]: “Is, uh, is he dangerous?”

Leonard Hofstadter [played by Johnny Galecki]: “Actually, he’s a genius.”

Sheldon: “I am.”

Arthur: “That doesn’t answer my question.”

Leonard: “Mr. Jeffries, I’m, I’m Leonard. This is my girlfriend, Penny.”

Arthur [turning to face her, finally perking up]: “Hi.”

Penny [played by Kaley Cuoco]: “Hello.”

Arthur: “Well, I hope I haven’t, uh, kept the kids waiting too long for, for the show.”

Sheldon: “Oh, no, there are no kids. No, the, the show’s for me. Come on. I’ll race ya, Arthur.”

Arthur [to Leonard]: “Is the, is the blond girl really your, your girlfriend?”

Leonard: “Yes, sir.”

Arthur: “You’re the genius.”—The Big Bang Theory, Season 6, Episode 22, “The Proton Resurgence,” original air date May 2, 2013, teleplay by Steven Molaro, Eric Kaplan and Maria Ferrari, directed by Mark Cendrowski

Quote of the Day (Sir Herbert Butterfield, on a Blackboard Problem-Solver)

“Nothing is more effective, after people have long been debating and wrangling and churning the air, than the appearance of a person who draws a line on the blackboard, which with the help of a little geometry solves the whole problem in an instant.”—English historian and philosopher of modern history Sir Herbert Butterfield (1900-1979), The Origins of Modern Science, 1300–1800 (1957)

Professor Butterfield could not imagine at the blackboard Dr. Sheldon Cooper of The Big Bang Theory (pictured here). Like, for instance, that fictional theoretical physicist’s baffled reaction to neighbor Penny’s crying jag when she can’t understand his “basic” explanation of his field of science. (“That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and it makes me sad.”) Like how Sheldon’s condescension makes even best friends (and fellow nerd-geniuses) Raj, Howard and Leonard sometimes want to kill him. And like how everyone else he meets can only gape at his utter lack of social skills.

All of this radically lowers the possibility that Sheldon can even get to a blackboard without being murdered, let alone that he can scrawl those equations that, in Butterfield’s optimistic vision, can simplify previously complex phenomena.

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ In Which Penny Takes Sheldon To Task)

Penny [played by Kaley Cuoco]: “Come on, Sheldon, you can’t move. Don’t you need to stay in one place so the mothership can find you when it returns?” —The Big Bang Theory, Season 3, Episode 13, “The Bozeman Reaction,” original air date Jan. 18, 2010, teleplay by Chuck Lorre, Steven Molaro, and Steve Holland, directed by Mark Cendrowski

Over the course of its 12 seasons, I believe, one of the most pleasant aspects of The Big Bang Theory was the growth of Kaley Cuoco in assurance and comic timing.

Today marks the 35^th birthday of the actress. I have no idea how good her latest project, the HBO Max mini-series The Flight Attendant, might be. But I hope that it, or some other film or series in which she may become involved, may give her a similar high-profile outlet where she can equal or surpass her work on Chuck Lorre’s sitcom.

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ on Leonard's Projected Life Without Penny)

Dr. Sheldon Cooper [played by Jim Parsons]: “Well, if we accept your premise, and also accept the highly improbable assumption that Penny is the only woman in the world for you, then we can logically conclude that the result of blowing it would be that you end up a lonely, bitter old man with no progeny. The image of any number of evil lighthouse keepers from ‘Scooby Doo’ cartoons comes to mind.” —The Big Bang Theory, Season 1, Episode 17, “The Tangerine Factor,” original air date May 19, 2008, teleplay by Lee Aronsohn and Steven Molaro, directed by Mark Cendrowski

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ on ‘Anything-Can-Happen Thursday’)

[On “Anything-Can-Happen Thursday,” America’s favorite nerds crash a bar, in the hope of picking up women.]

Leonard Hofstadter [played by Johnny Galecki]: “Should we talk to some of these women?”

Howard Wolowitz [played by Simon Helberg]: “No, it's way too early in the night for that. See, first we let the lawyers and the jocks thin the herd, and then we go after the weak and the old and the lame.”

Leonard: “That's your system?”

Howard: “That's my system. Oh, and if you spot a chick with a Seeing Eye dog, she's mine.” — The Big Bang Theory, Season 2, Episode 20, “The Hofstadter Isotope,” original air date Apr.13, 2009, teleplay by David Goetsch, directed by Mark Cendrowski

Quote of the Day (Kate Murphy, on Digital Distraction vs. Listening)

“Digital distraction keeps the mind occupied but does little to nurture it, much less cultivate depth of feeling, which requires the resonance of another’s voice within our very bones and psyches. To really listen is to be moved physically, chemically, emotionally, and intellectually by another person’s narrative.”—American journalist Kate Murphy, You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters (2020)

(The image accompanying this post is from THE BIG BANG THEORY. In this scene, the show’s nerd-geniuses are caught up in their video games, with zero interest in their significant others.)

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ In Which Sheldon Voices His Eternal Dilemma)

[Dr. Sheldon Cooper has been rehearsing his Nobel Prize speech.]

Dr. Amy Farrar Fowler [played by Mayim Bialik]: “Sheldon, why are you talking so fast?”

Sheldon [played by Jim Parsons]: “I'm trying to get my speech down to ninety minutes.”

Amy: “Nobody's going to be able to understand a word you're saying.”

Sheldon: “Welcome to my life.”—The Big Bang Theory, Season 12, Episode 24, “The Stockholm Syndrome,” original air date May 16, 2019, teleplay by 13 writers!, directed by Mark Cendrowski       

So, after 12 seasons, The Big Bang Theory is finally over. True, the show may have stayed on about three years too long and the finale a bit predictable. But at least showrunner Chuck Lorre wasn’t untrue to the spirit or premise of the show or make a hash of the whole thing, the way Seinfeld went out. 

Remarkable, too, isn’t it, that with roughly seven co-equal stars, Lorre does not seem to have a major problem with any of them—unlike his other megahit, Two and a Half Men, which had far fewer leads to handle, but one of them happened to be Charlie (“I got tiger blood”) Sheen.

(As you might be able to tell from the credits listing above, I am rather astounded that 13 writers contributed to the finale. I always thought it remarkable that eight screenwriters had a hand in the old Tom Hanks movie Turner and Hooch, about a man's relationship with his dog. But I guess that the necessity of ending this sitcom on--pardon me!--a bang required extreme measures.)

The Big Bang Theory ended with Sheldon’s resounding professional success, but even if he and Amy hadn’t ended up winning the Nobel, the series had already made plain, they and their friends had already succeeded—by finding personal happiness through mutual friendship and love. 

It’s an old message, maybe even a clichéd one, but in this time and culture celebrating winning at any personal cost, maybe it has to be taught and learned all over again.

TV Quote of the Day (‘Big Bang Theory,’ on The One Place Sheldon Feels at Home)

Raj [played by Kunal Nayyar] [leading Sheldon through guided Indian meditation]: “All right. Imagine yourself in the one place you feel most at home. Where is that?”

Sheldon [played by Jim Parsons]: “Sim City. More specifically, the Sim City I designed, Sheldonopolis.”

Raj: “Okay, you’re in Sheldonopolis.”

Sheldon: “Where exactly? Sheldon Square? Sheldon Towers? Sheldon Stadium, home of the Fighting Sheldons?”

Raj: “Whatever you like.”

Sheldon: “I thought this was supposed to be a guided meditation.”

Raj [exasperated]: “Fine. You’re in Sheldon Square.”

Sheldon: “Really? This time of year? It’s a bit nippy.”

Raj: ‘Then, put on a sweater.”

Sheldon: “Suppose I could run downtown and pick up something at Shel-Mart.”

Raj: “Yeah, whatever. Just go buy a sweater.”

Sheldon: “You know, the nice thing about Shel-Mart is I own it, so I get a 15% discount.”

Raj: “You own the damn thing. Just take a freaking sweater!”

Sheldon: “Look, I didn’t turn a profit last quarter by taking product off the shelves willy-nilly.”

Raj: “All right. You’ve paid for a sweater, and you’re in Sheldon Square.”

Sheldon: Hang on. It’s a cardigan. I have to button it.” [stops] “Oh, no!”

Raj: “What now?”

Sheldon: “A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city. I have to get my people to safety. People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. Follow me. If the children can’t run, leave them behind. Oh, the simulated horror!”—The Big Bang Theory, Season 3, Episode 18, “The Pants Alternative,” original air date Mar. 22, 2010, teleplay by Eric Kaplan, Richard Rosenstock, and Jim Reynolds, directed by Mark Cendrowski