Movie Quote of the Day (‘Horse Feathers,’ As Groucho Mixes Geology and Theology)

Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff [played by Groucho Marx)]: “Beyond the Alps lies more Alps. And The Lord Alps those that Alps themselves.”— Horse Feathers (1932), written by Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, S.J. Perelman, Will B. Johnstone, and Arthur Skeekman (uncredited)

TV Quote of the Day (‘Bewitched,’ As Darrin Gets His First Taste of Samantha’s Uncle Arthur)

[Samantha, Darrin, Endora and Arthur are together, drinking coffee.]

Uncle Arthur [played by Paul Lynde]: “Cream, Darrin?”

Darrin Stephens [played by Dick York]: “Yes, please.”

Uncle Arthur [he creates instantly a cow by magic]: “Help yourself.” [smirking] “Forgive me. I just can't help milking a joke.”—Bewitched, Season 2, Episode 5, “The Joker Is a Card,” original air date Oct. 14, 1965, teleplay by Ron Friedman and Sol Saks, directed by E.W. Swackhamer

Movie Quote of the Day (‘101 Dalmatians,’ With Cruella De Vil Delivering a Perfect Vow of Revenge—and Pun)

Cruella De Vil [played by Glenn Close]: “You... BEASTS! But I'm not beaten yet. You've won the battle, but I'm about to win the wardrobe.”— 101 Dalmatians (1996), screenplay by John Hughes (adapted from the 1961 Disney animated film and the novel by Dodie Smith), directed by Stephen Herek

I first became aware of this quotation while reading Maureen Dowd’s New York Times interview with playwright Tom Stoppard back in September.

However, while Ms. Dowd notes, correctly, that Stoppard did some script-doctoring on 102 Dalmatians at the behest of Glenn Close, I think she identified the wrong quote for the movie. This quote that she (and I!) enjoy so much came from the 1996 Hughes version, rather than the 2000 sequel with a screenplay by Kristen Buckley, Brian Regan, Bob Tzudiker, and Noni White.

(Hughes was not associated with the 2000 project, whereas, as producer in 1996, I doubt that he would have allowed anyone tinkering with his script.)

Tweet of the Day (Comic Daniel Edison, on an Unusual Ailment)

“I swallowed a dictionary. It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.” ―Stand-up comic Daniel Edison, tweet of Feb. 27, 2017

Quote of the Day (Flann O’Brien, With a Nose for Puns)

“Keats and Chapman (in the old days) spent several months in the county Wicklow prospecting for ochre deposits. That was before the days of (your) modern devices for geological divination. With Keats and Chapman it was literally a question of smelling the stuff out….In a field of turnips near Avoca Keats suddenly got the pungent effluvium of a vast ochre mine and lay for hours face down in the muck delightedly permeating his nostrils with the perfume of hidden wealth. No less lucky was Chapman. He had nosed away in the direction of Newtonmountkennedy and came racing back shouting that he too had found a mine. He implored Keats to come and confirm his nasal diagnosis. Keats agreed. He accompanied Chapman to the site and lay down in the dirt to do his sniffing.

'Great mines stink alike,' he said.”—Brian O’Nolan, a.k.a. Flann O’Brien (1911-1966), writing as “Myles na Gopaleen,” in The Best of Myles (Myles na Gopaleen) (1999)