TV Quote of the Day (Jim Gaffigan, Channeling What’s Been Ticking Off God Lately)

“I miss the days when you could send a plague and people would listen.”—Comedian Jim Gaffigan, imagining God frustrated over human beings’ indifference to climate change, in the Prime Video special Dark Pale (2023)

This photo of Jim Gaffigan, at the "An Evening With Stephen Colbert and Jim Gaffigan" event, was taken June 24, 2023, by Neil Grabowsky, and made available by Montclair Film.

Joke of the Day (Jim Gaffigan, on Santa’s TV Appearances)

“Jeez, did Santa's agent turn down a single commercial?”—Stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan quoted in Eric Zorn, “The 9 Funniest People on Twitter (and a List of All the Finest Tweets of 2014),” Chicago Tribune, Jan. 1, 2015

Joke of the Day (Jim Gaffigan, Catching Up With the News)

“I’ve been busy.  What are we unnecessarily outraged about now?”—Stand-up comic Jim Gaffigan, tweet of Sept. 5, 2015

(Jim Gaffigan after a performance at the State Theatre in Easton, Penn., Feb. 20, 2010, taken by Hunter Kahn)

Quote of the Day (Comic Jim Gaffigan, on His Salad Dilemma)

“I hate when I try to order a salad and my mouth says, ‘I'll have a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.’"—Stand-up comic Jim Gaffigan, tweet of Apr. 29, 2014