Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts

Monday, October 9, 2023

Quote of the Day (Arthur Kretchmer, on the Outsized Presence of NFL Great Dick Butkus)

“When [Chicago Bears middle linebacker Dick] Butkus finally comes out, his steps are hesitant, like he is trying to walk off a cramp. You notice immediately that he looks even bigger in pads and helmet—bigger than anyone else on the field, bigger than players listed in the program as outweighing him. He has the widest shoulders on earth. His name seems too small for him; the entire alphabet could be printed on the back of his uniform and there'd be room left over.”—American reporter and editor Arthur Kretchmer, “Butkus: One Season and One Injury With the Meanest Man Alive,” originally printed in Playboy, October 1971, reprinted in Football: Great Writing About the National Sport, edited by John Schulian (2014)

Dick Butkus didn’t last as long in the NFL as other Pro Football Hall of Gamers—only nine seasons—but the outsized presence described by Arthur Kretchmer carried over onto the field. A half-century after he retired, he is still considered by many of the game’s observers as the greatest middle linebacker of all time.

Or, as Kretchmer summed up the consensus about Butkus from fans, teammates and opposing players of the time: “He's the meanest, angriest, toughest, dirtiest son of a bitch in football. An animal, a savage, subhuman. But as good at his game as Ty Cobb was at his, or Don Budge at his, or Joe Louis at his.

Early last week, I heard a radio commercial featuring the gridiron giant. His voice reassured me in several different ways: that he was, after all, still around at all; that, unlike so many other retired players, he did not appear to be suffering the effects of multiple concussions; and even that a link to the game that had so fascinated me starting in my tweens continued as a living link to the past. Some things, you could still count on.

That sense of stability didn’t last long. By Friday, the news had come out that Butkus had died at his home in Malibu, Calif. The irony was that someone so ferocious on the field had passed away peacefully in his sleep.

WBEZ sports contributor Cheryl Raye-Stout, talking about him on Texas Public Radio, put matters succinctly on what he meant in Butkus meant in his prime: “He became notorious for being someone that would do anything, anything at all, to make a tackle, to force the ball out of the opposing player's arms, to go after the quarterback. He did things that nobody had done before. He would bite. He would claw. He would scratch. He did anything.”

"You know, his brother Ronnie played for a while with the old Chicago Cardinals. He had to stop because of a knee injury." Then she turns to me and says, "I hope Dick gets well. It's his life."

Told that he had taken his place in the pantheon of great middle linebackers, along with Sam Huff and Ray Nitschke, Butkus said, "Hell, I'm going to make more money this year than those guys ever thought about."

“This year”—and to the end of his life. International Merchandising Corporation (IMC), the company that took sports promotion to a new level by helping Arnold Palmer gain a string of lucrative endorsements and exhibitions, did the same, albeit on a smaller scale, for Butkus.

In the five decades after he hobbled off the field for the last time, Butkus appeared in dozens of television shows and movies, not to mention scores of commercials—notably Miller Lite Beer commercials.

This quote from Butkus, on the Website of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, confirmed his mother’s observation about his single-minded devotion to the sport:

“There’s only one thing I’ve ever wanted to do: Play pro football. Everyone seems to be made for something, and I’ve always felt that playing football was the thing I was supposed to do. I love the game.”

After the string of confirmations on the damage caused by concussions, I can’t share his feelings. But I can’t help but admire his desire to excel, and I’m glad he was able, unlike so many other ex-players, his time away from the game.

Monday, July 17, 2023

TV Quote of the Day (George Carlin, on the Differences Between Football and Baseball)

“There are things about the words surrounding football and baseball, which give it all away:

“Football is technological; baseball is pastoral.

“Football is played in a stadium; baseball is played in the park.

“In football, you wear a helmet; in baseball, you wear a cap.

“Football is played on an enclosed, rectangular grid, and every one of them is the same size; baseball is played on an ever-widening angle that reaches to infinity, and every park is different!

“Football is rigidly timed; baseball has no time limit, we don’t know when it’s gonna end! We might even have extra innings!

“In football, you get a penalty; in baseball, you make an error – whoops!

“The object in football is to march downfield and penetrate enemy territory, and get into the end zone; in baseball, the object is to go home! ‘I’m going home!’

“And, in football, they have the clip, the hit, the block, the tackle, the blitz, the bomb, the offense and the defense; in baseball, they have… the sacrifice.”—American stand-up comic George Carlin (1937-2008), guest-host monologue, Saturday Night Live, Season 1, Episode 1, original air date Oct. 11, 1975

The NFL preseason starts in only two weeks, but it might as well have begun already, judging from the chatter on sports talk radio.

You know what I say to football? Go away! Let us baseball fans enjoy our game while we can. As Mr. Carlin recognized, it’s a far gentler game—one that we need.

Wednesday, October 26, 2022

Quote of the Day (Jason Gay, on Tom Brady’s Ill-Fated Comeback From Retirement)

“[Future Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterback Tom] Brady’s title hopes in Tampa Bay are evaporating, and his personal life has become tabloid fodder. He’s gotten flak for taking off Wednesdays—I thought we were all cool with remote work now?—and for attending the wedding of Patriots owner Robert Kraft the Friday before the Bucs lost to Pittsburgh. Brady was caught on camera during that game going nuclear on his underperforming offensive line, looking like a cranky guy who couldn’t believe his 5:15 p.m. restaurant reservation wasn’t ready at 5:15 p.m.”—Sports columnist Jason Gay, “Glum Days for the Geezer Greats,” The Wall Street Journal, Oct. 25, 2022

The photo accompanying this post—of Tom Brady being sacked by Daron Payne of the Washington Football Team during a game against the Buccaneers—was taken Jan. 9, 2021, by All-Pro Reels of Washington, DC. 

With a little less than half the season played now, Brady, with 10 sacks, is on track to at least match and maybe exceed his totals for 2020 and 2021 (21 and 22, respectively).

At age 45, with seven Super Bowl victories and who knows how much money earned, what does he have to prove at this point? Does he think he’s going to recover faster from these hits than he did before?

Five years ago, Gisele Bundchen blurted out what her husband had not previously admitted: that he’d had multiple concussions. Even then, she was extremely worried about his future health.

I never expected to write that a supermodel could be the one with brains in a family, but that is clearly the case here. Hope that Brady still has his senses intact when the season is over, but don’t bet on it.

Friday, October 21, 2022

Quote of the Day (Finley Peter Dunne, on How Irish-Americans Took to American Football Over a Century Ago)

"I seen th' Dorgan la-ad comin' up th' sthreet yesterdah in his futball clothes,--a pair iv
matthresses on his legs, a pillow behind, a mask over his nose, an' a bushel measure iv hair on his head. He was followed by thee men with bottles, Dr. Ryan, an' th' Dorgan fam'ly. I jined thim. They was a big crowd on th' peerary,--a bigger crowd than ye cud get to go f'r to see a prize fight. Both sides had their frinds that give th' colledge cries. Says wan crowd: 'Take an ax, an ax, an ax to thim. Hooroo, hooroo, hellabaloo. Christyan Bro-others!' an' th' other says, 'Hit thim, saw thim, gnaw thim, chaw thim, Saint Alo-ysius!' Well, afther awhile they got down to wur-ruk. 'Sivin, eighteen, two, four,' says a la-ad. I've seen people go mad over figures durin' th' free silver campaign, but I niver see figures make a man want f'r to go out an' kill his fellow-men befure.”—Irish-American journalist and humorist Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936), “Mr. Dooley on the Game of Football,” in Mr. Dooley in Peace and in War (2001)

Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Quote of the Day (Eugene McCarthy, on How Politicians Are Like Football Coaches)

“Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it’s important.”—U.S. Senator and Presidential candidate Eugene McCarthy (1916-2005), quoted in Darcy G. Richardson, A Nation Divided: The 1968 Presidential Campaign (2002)

Wait, wait…you mean football’s not important?

Forget about challenging a powerful party apparatus stacked against him—that quote might be as good a reason as any why Senator McCarthy—by nearly all accounts, witty and brilliant—never became President. Political consultants talk about “the Nascar voter,” but if you ask me, football voters are far more numerous.

I hate to say it, but football was already beginning to replace baseball as America’s game in the Sixties when McCarthy said this. He just attuned to reading the signs, intent as he was on guiding legislation through the Senate, or reading the poetry of Robert Lowell.

The first two Super Bowls had already been played when McCarthy trudged through the snows of New Hampshire to challenge Lyndon Johnson in that state’s primary. Wilder football fans were wondering why the winning coach in those initial Super Bowls, Vince Lombardi, didn’t run for President himself.

Nothing that’s happened in the five decades since has fundamentally shaken Americans’ love affair with the game. Not steroids, not halftime wardrobe malfunctions, not traumatic concussion-related injuries, not Colin Kaepernick taking a note, not even Tom Brady monopolizing the Super Bowl.

St. Paul has a Winter Carnival. The Super Bowl provides a nationwide version of it, only on the gaudiest scale imaginable.

I’ve become convinced that the sport has become so important to so many, paradoxically enough, because it’s not important.

While everybody worries about something or other day to day—education, health, paying the bills, politicians who not only do stupid stuff but are shameless about it—football gives them a chance to join with other people on something that doesn’t matter because it’s utterly forgettable, with no real-world consequences for them.

Monday, November 29, 2021

Quote of the Day (Ogden Nash, Lamenting the ‘Intellectual Prig Apostate’)

“Such a one is so erudite that he frequently thinks in Aramaic,
But he expresses himself in slang long passé in Passaic.
His signature is purple ink in an illegible curlicue,
And he compares baseball to ballet, and laments the passing of burlesque, which he refers to as burlicue….
For the most part, my feelings about him I silently conceal,
But when he comments that ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ burns with a hard, gemlike flame, I can only cry that he is robbing Pater to paw Peale.”—American poet Ogden Nash (1902-1971), “Just How Low Can a Highbrow Go When a Highbrow Lowers His Brow?,” originally printed in The New Yorker, Aug. 30, 1958, reprinted in Everyone But Thee and Me (1962)
 
This year marked the 50th anniversary of the death of Ogden Nash, one of the masters of light verse. Yet, as far as I know, no major commemoration marked the sad occasion.
 
But, as the excerpt I’ve quoted shows, Nash was equally erudite and delightful.
 
Want further proof? Well, for this season of the year, are you ready for some football—or, to be more exact, Nash’s tribute to the late Hall of Fame defensive end, Bubba Smith?
 
“Few manage to topple in a tussle
Three hundred pounds of hustle and muscle.
He won't complain if double-teamed;
It isn't Bubba who gets creamed.”

Friday, September 17, 2021

Quote of the Day (Robert Klein, on Halftime Shows, Marching Bands, and Mayonnaise)

“Halftime shows [of football games] really stink. They start psyching you up for the halftime about a half-hour before the halftime, so you won’t switch to the other league. [Mimicking voice of announcer] ‘What do we have here for them, Bill, at halftime?’ ‘The Phillips High School Marching Band, Ralph. They’re state champs, as you remember.’ [Imitates sound of viewer snoring.] They work so hard, the kids! Really. And what happens? ‘Come on, Frank. Let’s get a couple of hot dogs and take a leak! Come on!’ There are very few people who really care. One goes, ‘Not me. I’m not going to miss this halftime show! They’re the high school marching band—state champs!’ They always pay tribute to something, a salute. ‘And now [echo], under the direction of Jay Carlton Blanton [echo], the Phillips High School Marching Band [echo] will pay a tribute ... to mayonnaise!’ They form a gigantic mayonnaise jar on the field. One kid missed practice, doesn't know where to go with the trombone. He's running around like a chicken without a head. From the stands it looks like a fly in the mayonnaise jar. And they announce it: ‘There's a fly in the mayonnaise jar! Very clever...’"—American stand-up comic and actor Robert Klein, Child of the 50's LP (1973)

I was lucky enough to see Robert Klein at the Dr. Central Park Music Festival in late July 1977. He had the ability to make the crowd starting at the Wollman Ice Skating Rink and sprawling out to the surrounding rocks feel like a small, intimate room. To use the term of the stand-up profession, he killed.

The Bronx-born comedian, who appeared numerous times on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and in HBO’s first comedy special back in 1975, influenced a host of subsequent comedians with his observational humor, including Jay Leno, Richard Lewis, and Jerry Seinfeld. Remarkably, even routines like the above, dating back nearly 50 years, have aged little or nothing.

Friday, February 5, 2021

TV Quote of the Day (‘Monk,’ With the Detective at a Postseason Football Game)

Adrian Monk [played by Tony Shalhoub]: [after encountering drunk football fans at a pregame tailgating party] “Did you enjoy civilization, Leland? I sure did. It was a hell of a run. 8,000 years.”—Monk, Season 7, Episode 13, “Mr. Monk Makes the Playoffs,” original air date Jan. 30, 2009, teleplay by Josh Siegal and Dylan Morgan, directed by Randy Zisk

Mr. Monk acts this way during the playoffs. Can you imagine how he would deal with the Super Bowl?

The sad fact is, 2021 is one year when sports fans could use a bit—just a bit, mind you!—of his germaphobia. Let’s hope the average Super Bowl Sunday party doesn’t turn into what has become one of the most awful word coinages of the 21st century: “Superspreader Event.”

Monday, September 28, 2020

Movie Quote of the Day (‘The American President,’ Showing That Even Ultimate Power Has Limits)

President Andrew Shepherd [played by Michael Douglas] [muttering in disgust]: “Seven-trillion-dollar communications system at my disposal and I can't find out if the Packers won.” —The American President (1995), screenplay by Aaron Sorkin, directed by Rob Reiner

Hmmm…Well, right now they’ve started this season 3-0. (And even in 1995, when this romantic comedy opened, they won their first division title since 1972.) So I’d say, “Don’t sweat it, Mr. President.”

(That’s Michael Douglas—presumably, using his remote, without success, to locate the Packers—with Annette Bening by his side in The American President.)

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Quote of the Day (Russell Baker, On America’s ‘Opiate of the Masses’)


“In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.”—Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and memoirist Russell Baker (1925-2019), “The Muscular Opiate,” The New York Times,  Oct. 3, 1967

Russell Baker is playing, of course, off Karl Marx's infamous line that religion is the opiate of the masses. But in our age, the Super Bowl has taken on the trappings of a secular religion, even being played on a Sunday, inspiring an unusual amount of reverence for a game that, after all, involves 300-plus-pound mastodons in shoulder pads colliding at ferocious speeds. 

Baker wrote those lines in the autumn of 1967, when the Green Bay Packers were two months away from their second and last Super Bowl under coach Vince Lombardi. The game was already assuming inflated dimensions (why do you think it was called “Super”?), but nothing like the orgy of wretched excess it has become in recent years. 

Growing up, I was never the type of young man uninterested in athletic pursuits that Baker labeled “asportual.” Having checked in on the big game on Sunday, albeit intermittently, I can’t even be said to be one now.

But I am certainly nothing like the teen who could have reeled off the starters of his favorite gridiron teams of the Seventies, the Miami Dolphins and Pittsburgh Steelers. I am all too conscious that a sport that George F. Will defined American as “violence punctuated by committee meetings” has produced a startlingly high number of concussion-related victims. 

Those Roman numerals associated with the Super Bowl—a designation, to my knowledge, not associated with any other sports trophy—may point to more than laughable, over-the-top pretense. 

As corruption and greed took over the Roman Empire, rulers placated their restless subjects with what the ancient satirist Juvenal termed “bread and circuses”—i.e., free food and entertainment. I fear that the American experiment with liberty may have encountered a similar obstacle.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Quote of the Day (Rick Reilly, on the ‘Price of Greatness’)


“The price of greatness is more than you want to pay. The world's most legendary athletes are usually the ones most wildly out of balance. Michael Jordan had to crush you, whether you were an opponent or teammate. The thousands of hours Peyton Manning pours into every season would make you quake, then quit. Andre Agassi grieves, to this day, the childhood he gave up while hitting over a million practice balls. Enjoy your heroes, but don't envy them.”—Sportswriter Rick Reilly, “Some Truths I’ve Discovered,” www.espn.com,  Apr. 23, 2014

More than a touch of envy came out among many football fans when Andrew Luck of the Indianapolis Colts announced his retirement. They simply could not understand how this 29-year-old quarterback could walk away from the game during the same year that 42-year-old Tom Brady seeks his seventh Super Bowl title. 

But the price Luck has already paid for his short period of greatness has already been steep: sprained shoulder, lacerated kidney, partially torn abdominal muscle, torn cartilage, concussion, and calf strain. And constantly, of course, the pressure to come back, even if he wasn’t quite his best, only to hear the boos of uncomprehending and undeserving fans…

(Photo of Andrew Luck taken on Sept. 18, 2016, by Jeffrey Beall.)

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Quote of the Day (Susan Orlean, on What She Learned During Super Bowl Week, 24 Years Ago)


“I learned that the Super Bowl and the week of revelry leading up to it feels exactly like prom week—if you had happened to go to a high school with seventy-four thousand in the graduating class and your prom had been televised to seven hundred and fifty million people worldwide and your parents had been liberal about your curfew and you had accessorized your prom outfit by wearing on your head a piece of polyurethane foam shaped like a thunderbolt (if you were a Chargers fan), or a miner's pickax (if you were for the 49ers). The only difference--which in the case of most Super Bowls turns out to be a minor one—is that most proms don't feature a football game.”— Susan Orlean, “Super-Duper,” The New Yorker, Feb. 13, 1995, collected in her My Kind of Place: Travel Stories from a Woman Who's Been Everywhere (2004)

(Photo of Susan Orlean taken at the 2011 Texas Book Festival in Austin, Texas, Oct. 22, 2011, by ©Larry D. Moore.)

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Quote of the Day (Jonathan Eig, As Baseball and Football Compete for Our Attention)


“In baseball, we can see our heroes’ faces. In football, players would be all but indistinguishable if not for the numbers on their backs and the TV closeups. Baseball is in our lives every day, through spring, summer and fall. It unfolds like life. Football comes and goes like a loud and drunken uncle.” —Jonathan Eig, “The Men of Autumn,” The Wall Street Journal, Aug. 23-24, 2014