“WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Conspiracy
theorists believe that the Republican Party did not die from natural causes but
was instead the target of an elaborately planned killing, a leading conspiracy
theorist has confirmed….
“ ‘Because the Republican Party is one hundred and sixty-one
years old, it’s assumed that it was time for it to die,’ he [conspiracy
theorist ‘Harland Dorrinson’] said. “The truth is, that’s exactly what the
people who killed it want us to think.’”— Andy Borowitz, “Conspiracy Theorists Say Republican Party Did Not Die from Natural Causes,” TheNewYorker.com, Feb. 18, 2016
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