MARV ALBERT: A playoff atmosphere in here tonight!
ME: Well, it’s been a tough week. My mother came to visit me.
MARV ALBERT: From downtown!
ME: And, of course, she immediately asked if I was still sleeping with Sarah.
MARV ALBERT: Out of bounds!
ME: Exactly. It’s not her business.
MARV ALBERT: Unbelievable!
ME: And Sarah won’t even return my calls.
MARV ALBERT: Rejected!
ME: I called her, like, twelve times last night.
MARV ALBERT: A dozen! Unanswered!
ME: I don’t know why I’m surprised. We haven’t been intimate in months.
MARV ALBERT: Stuck outside the perimeter!”—Jesse Eisenberg, “Shouts and Murmurs: Marv Albert Is My Therapist,” The New Yorker, March 18, 2013
It seems that, over the last 24 hours, “Dr. Albert” must have widened his practice from mere mortals (or as close to mere mortals as someone like Jesse Eisenberg gets) to the New York Knicks themselves. To their question—“Do you think we’ll ever score again?”—the resounding answer must have been “YES!!!!,” judging by the 85-75 thumping of the Pacers last night.
We’ll see if the revival continues—or if “That’s the ballgame!”