Coach
(played by Walter Matthau) (barging into the team bunk cabin): “What's
going on in here?! Huh?! What's all the racket about?! I thought I told you to
go to sleep!!”
Artie
(played by Dan Aykroyd): “We were
trying to, Coach, but Alan made too much noise because he was… buzzing off!”
Team
(Aykroyd, Bill Murray, and Garrett Morris):
“Alan was buzzing off! Alan was buzzing off! Alan was buzzing off!!”
Coach:
“Come on, you guys…cut it out! Come over here, Alan.. come over here…”
[Coach and a
disconsolate Alan—played by John Belushi-- sit down.]
Coach:
“Nothing wrong in what you were doing, Alan. It's perfectly normal for someone
your age to bend his barb once in a while. Everyone does it, there's nothing to
be ashamed of….It's a natural function - everyone does it….Let me tell you a
story about a ballplayer I knew, who, uh… used to buzz off five, six, seven
times a day. And his teammates, they made fun of him, they razzed him all the
time. And he was ashamed, and it was affecting all aspects of his game. He had
trouble throwing, fielding, hitting with power, running to the bases… And then,
one day, he just accepted the fact that he was a chronic buzz off. And once he
accepted that fact, he became a great ballplayer, and he went on to hit three
home runs in the last game of the 1977 World Series!”
[The team is
amazed by the identity of the buzz off.]
Team:
“Reggie Jackson!!!!!!”
Coach:
“Reggie Jackson. That's right, Alan, you're in good company.”—Saturday
Night Live, Season 4, Episode 7, December 2, 1978, “The Bad News Bees” segment, directed by
Dave Wilson and James Signorelli
I can still remember almost as if it were yesterday
the first time this spoof of The Bad News Bears—one of the best skits in the show’s long history—aired, as
well as the percussive laugh that came out of me at the slow uncoiling of the
outrageous punchline.
“The three home runs in the last game of the 1977
World Series” occurred on this date 35 years ago against the Los Angeles Dodgers, and this Bunyanesque—no, Ruthian--feat by Reggie Jackson was as explosive in its way (home runs on three consecutive swings--plus one in his last at bat the day before!) as the SNL punchline.
In his wildest dreams, the slugger—then at the end
of a hugely controversial first year with the New York Yankees, when he tangled
with manager Billy Martin and catcher-sparkplug Thurman Munson—was never the
five-tool player that Alex Rodriguez was in his prime. Nor did he always come
through in the clutch. But unlike A-Rod, he never wilted when the lights shone
brightest on him. (Even striking out, he made the air tremble.)
Sixteen years after the New York media made him a
tabloid fixture, 15 years after SNL made fun of him, Mr. Buzzing Off—oops, I mean Mr. October—had the last laugh when
he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
(John Belushi
and Walter Matthau are pictured here.)
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