Showing posts with label Royalty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Royalty. Show all posts

Friday, February 20, 2026

TV Quote of the Day (‘Yes, Prime Minister,’ on What Worries the U.K. Government)

James Hacker [played by Paul Eddington]: “Humphrey, I'm worried.”

Sir Humphrey Appleby [played by Nigel Hawthorne]: “Oh, what about, Prime Minister?”

Hacker: “About the Americans.”

Appleby: “Oh yes, well, we're all worried about the Americans.” — Yes, Prime Minister, Season 1, Episode 6, “A Victory for Democracy,” original air date Feb. 13, 1986, teleplay by Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn, directed by Sydney Lotterby

Forty years after this episode in this hilarious series aired, the British have even more to worry about their partner in the “special relationship” than they did back when it only concerned Americans going crazy about Communist subversion.

Now, the Prime Minister has so much more on his mind—like whether the current American President will destroy the transatlantic alliance, subvert representative governments around the globe, spark a trade war by ratcheting up tariffs, or use Royal Air Force bases for potential unilateral strikes on Iran.

Moreover, the Prime Minister and King Charles are sweating over what else the Americans have in the Epstein files—like whether they could make matters even worse, if possible, for the former Prince Andrew, and, with more revelations spilling out about additional cabinet ministers, whether the government of Keir Starmer could fall.

Saturday, December 9, 2023

Quote of the Day (Max Beerbohm, Hoping to ‘Lighten the Yoke’ on Royalty)

“Gaiety, wit, beauty, some measure even of splendour, may be compassed in the salons of a republic; but distinction comes not in save with one who must be received at the foot of the staircase. In fact, royalty is indispensable; we cannot spare it. But, you may well ask, are we justified in preserving an institution which ruins the lives and saps the human nature of a whole family? What of those royal victims whom we sacrifice to our expediency? I have suggested that royal functions could be quite satisfactorily performed by automata made of wax. There, I think, lies the solution of our difficulty. Perhaps, even now, did we but know, it is the triumphs of Tussaud at whose frequent sight our pulses beat with so quick an enthusiasm. If it is so, I do not blame our royal family for its innocent subterfuge. I should welcome any device that lightens the yoke that is on their necks. I should be glad if more people would seriously examine the conditions of royalty, with a view to ameliorating the royal lot.”—British essayist-critic-caricaturist Max Beerbohm (1872-1956), “Some Words on Royalty,” in The Prince of Minor Writers: The Selected Essays of Max Beerbohm, edited by Phillip Lopate (2015)

I have been a lifelong anti-royalist. But I couldn’t help chuckling at the wry wit of the great essayist nicknamed “The Incomparable Max.”

Over the last three decades or so, the British royals have certainly taken their lumps in the court of public opinion. His puckish “solution” to their dilemma would certainly home in handy these days.

You can imagine my excitement, then, when I saw the image accompanying this post. It shows some members of the British Royal Family (notably, the late Queen Elizabeth II) at Madame Tussauds, London, July 17, 2019, and was taken by Schweiz41.

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

This Day in English History (Birth of Catherine of Aragon, First—and Best—of Henry’s Six Wives)

Dec. 16, 1485—Catherine of Aragon, whose marriage into the Tudor dynasty was intended to advance power relations between two of Europe’s major royal houses but wound up putting them at odds and widening the continent’s Catholic-Protestant fracture, was born in Alcala de Henares, Spain, the last child of King Ferdinand of Aragon and Queen Isabella of Castile.

Catherine’s pivotal role in the fate of Europe came about, of course, because she was the first of the six wives of King Henry VIII of England—the king whose desire to obtain a divorce set off England’s violent and protracted split from Catholicism. For years, schoolchildren desperate to distinguish her fate from that of her successors as Henry’s wives remembered that she was the first in the following helpful mnemonic device:

“Divorced, beheaded, died;
Divorced, beheaded, survived.”

I first became aware of this wronged woman back in the summer of 1971, through the U.S. premiere of the BBC mini-series The Six Wives of Henry VIII. As fine as the series (and especially Keith Michell as Henry) was, it helped further the general visual representation of Catherine as an aging, tired, pious spouse unable to compete with court minx Anne Boleyn.

That picture needs some adjustment. Particularly at the beginning of their marriage in 1509, Catherine was regarded as having few rivals for beauty in England. At the time, 18-year-old Henry not only had no problems with her, but was even eager to wed this attractive widow of his older, sicklier brother, Prince Arthur. “She was 23, plump and pretty, and had beautiful red-gold hair that hung below her hips,” according to historian Alison Weir. “Henry spoke openly of the joy and felicity he had found with Catherine.”

Many people have written about Catherine over the years, in fiction and nonfiction alike. One of the more fascinating accounts is Garrett Mattingly’s 1941 biography, Catherine of Aragon, which approaches her from his primary interest: diplomatic history. 

Expertly using recently discovered archives in Vienna and Brussels, Mattingly depicted a woman who needed all her strength, intelligence and faith to keep her footing amid neglect by her father, court intrigues waged by royals, envoys and clerics, and settlement in a strange foreign land—all at the hands of males who, more often than not, did not have her best interests in mind.

But one drawback of this biography is its author’s male point of view. Mattingly simply couldn’t understand why Catherine might quarrel with Henry over his infidelity. After all, royal wenching was the norm in that time. Even Catherine’s father, Ferdinand, was unfaithful.

It seems never to have occurred to Mattingly that some women are sincerely bothered by husbands who can’t control their wayward impulses—and don’t even try.

There is a further irony in Catherine’s sad fate: though Henry came to fault her inability to produce a male heir, neither could Anne Boleyn--and the one he was eventually able to have, crowned Edward VI, lasted on the throne only six years before dying himself.

For all his sexism, Mattingly couldn’t help praising Catherine for her “core of iron self-reliance [and] lonely stubbornness.” Like him and the current saucy interpreter of the royals, Lucy Worsley, I, too, am a member of “Team Catherine.”

Monday, March 16, 2015

Quote of the Day (Elizabeth Hurley, on Real Male ‘Royals’)



“That's tricky for me, but I would say I would marry Prince Charles, misbehave with Prince Harry...I'd have to kill Prince William!"—Elizabeth Hurley, playing “Shag, Marry, Kill" for host Andy Cohen on “Watch What Happens Live,” quoted in Zach Johnson, “Elizabeth Hurley Says Her Friends Nicknamed Hugh Grant ‘Grumplestiltskin’ and Rates Their Sex Life—Watch!,” E!Online, March 11, 2015

As Austin Powers might say: “Oh, behave!!!”

A friend of mine (AND HE KNOWS WHO HE IS!!!!) has long classified Elizabeth Hurley among his Dark-Haired British Beauties (DHBBs), a comely cohort that also includes the likes of Helena Bonham-Carter, Julia Ormond and Kate Beckinsale.

These days, Ms. Hurley is joining Bonham-Carter in portraying a female member of the British royal family—though in this case, it’s not the real-life loyal, affectionate “Queen Mom” that netted Bonham-Carter an Oscar nomination in The King's Speech, but Queen Helena, the far more catty, conniving center of the fictional TV series The Royals.

I’ve only seen Ms. Hurley in two films, so I can’t say if she has ever appeared more convincing than she did in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, when she (unsuccessfully) urged on the title character the importance of dental hygiene. And I’m not going to sit there and see if she is plumbing hitherto-unsuspected thespian talent in her new role, for three reasons: 1) I’m not a soap-opera fan; 2) as a strong believer in the American Revolution, I see no magic in the notion of royalty; and 3) the Anglophilia Level of this Irish-American runs at about -20.

The Royals’ provenance (the E! Channel, home of Keeping Up With the Kardashians) has led numerous American TV reviewers to scold their British counterparts. The consensus among these critics seems to be that the British have Shakespeare, while we have Sleaze—and, in an application of the Monroe Doctrine to reality TV (or, in the case of The Royals, a cousin), the Old World should keep its grubby mitts off the territory of the New World.

My friend, the President of the DHBB Admiration Society, will probably react with equanimity to the news that Ms. Hurley is 49. “She’s aging well” is an oft-repeated mantra of his about Attractive Women of a Certain Age. (He’s never said this in the presence of such women, however—I have a feeling that they would only hear the first two words, not the third, before getting peeved.) The picture I’m attaching to this post, then, is a form of free public service to see if any of my other readers agree with him about the woman who is now playing Queen Helena.

I say, Old Chap (or so I'm told men of a certain class say in Albion): I really do admire her pluck! In the United States, the best a woman of her age group can aspire to is Cougar Town; in Great Britain, it’s nothing less than Buckingham Palace.

Ah, but there’s the rub: There already IS a Woman of a Certain Age lodged there: the former Camilla Parker-Bowles. Ms. Hurley may have had her sights set on marrying Prince Charles, according to the above tongue-in-cheek quote, but he’s already taken. Moreover, Camilla—though probably ranking lower in the looks department than Ms. Hurley--also managed to supplant a woman who, by most people’s measures, was considerably more attractive than herself.

In other words, Prince Charles, though part of a saga that, at times, sounds trashier than anything that could be concocted for The Royals, appears to have found love. Who’d have thought it?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Quote of the Day (Calvin Trillin, on ‘Bore-Proof’ Queen Elizabeth)


“{W]aiting out the Queen is no small task. This is somebody who has sat silent through thousands of ceremonies so boring that all an onlooker can hope for is that a soldier faints or a horse misbehaves. She has walked through thousands of factories, listening to incomprehensible explanations of how widgets are made - managing to look vaguely interested, even though the only way she can keep from going mad is to speculate on how in the world Prince Philip manages to keep his hands behind his back that way. She has seen native dances without end. The woman is bore-proof.”—Calvin Trillin, “Taxing the Queen,” in Too Soon to Tell (1995)

Friday, April 29, 2011

Quote of the Day (Christopher Hitchens, on Kate and the Royals)

“Myself, I wish her well and also wish I could whisper to her: If you really love him, honey, get him out of there, and yourself, too. Many of us don't want or need another sacrificial lamb to water the dried bones and veins of a dessicated system. Do yourself a favor and save what you can: Leave the throne to the awful next incumbent that the hereditary principle has mandated for it.”—Christopher Hitchens, "Beware the In-Laws: Does Kate Middleton Really Want to Marry Into a Family Like This?”, Slate, April 18, 2011

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Quote of the Day (Lord Mountjoy to Erasmus, on New Hopes for a New Head of State)


“I have no fear but when you heard that our Prince, now Henry the Eighth, whom we may call our Octavius, had succeeded to his father's throne, all your melancholy left you at once. What may you not promise yourself from a Prince with whose extraordinary and almost Divine character you are acquainted? When you know what a hero he now shows himself, how wisely he behaves, what a lover he is of justice and goodness, what affection he bears to the learned I will venture to swear that you will need no wings to make you fly to behold this new and auspicious star. Oh, my Erasmus, if you could see how all the world here is rejoicing in the possession of so great a prince, how his life is all their desire, you could not contain your tears for joy."-- Lord Mountjoy, in a letter to Desiderius Erasmus, May 27, 1509 on promising young English monarch Henry VIII, quoted in Robert Lacey, The Life and Times of Henry VIII (1972)

Well, I guess we all know how that one turned out, don’t we?

Henry VIII (pictured here at the time of his accession to the throne, well before he became the bloated, gout-ridden, perhaps syphilitic-ridden fellow we know today), looked like he’d be such an improvement over those who came immediately before him: his skinflint of a father, Henry VII, and Richard III, the murderous tyrant (I don’t buy the revisionist theory that poor Richard was the victim of Thomas More’s Tudor propaganda) that his father overthrew.

I could go on, offering chapter and verse on how the teenage Henry turned out—but then again, I already have. In any case, Mark Twain, the great enemy of royalty, put it far better than I (or, indeed, anyone else) ever could, in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: “My, you ought to seen old Henry the Eight when he was in bloom. He was a blossom. He used to marry a new wife every day, and chop off her head next morning. And he would do it just as indifferent as if he was ordering up eggs.”

(Okay, young Huck got a little confused after this—describing the Duke of Wellington, for instance, as Henry’s father—but, as we all know from our English classes, his heart was in the right place, which is more than you can say for Henry.)