Quote of the Day (Arthur Schopenhauer, on Why ‘It Is a Stupid Thing To Be Rude’)

“It is a wise thing to be polite; consequently, it is a stupid thing to be rude. To make enemies by unnecessary and willful incivility, is just as insane a proceeding as to set your house on fire. For politeness is like a counter—an avowedly false coin, with which it is foolish to be stingy.” — German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860), The Wisdom of Life and Counsels and Maxims, translated by T. Bailey Saunders (1851)

Quote of the Day (Simone Weil, on Attention)

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”— French essayist and philosopher Simone Weil (1909-1943), letter to Joe Bousquet, April 13, 1942, quoted in Simone Pétrement, Simone Weil: A Life (1976), translated by Raymond Rosenthal

Quote of the Day (Eve Babitz, on Gossip and Why ‘You Have to Care in New York’)

“[Y]ou have to care in New York or you’ll die. It's not like L.A., where you can go around with your purse unsnapped or lost in thought even on the freeway. In New York, the gossip will get you if crossing the street doesn't: for the gossip is so dense and thick that it hovers over the entire city like an enraged bear, ready to snap its teeth on anyone who isn’t fast enough to cover herself with alibis, low profiles, or return red herrings aimed strategically somewhere else. The gossip is like a lightning game of backgammon with rolls of dice leaving behind broken hearts, the dissolution of entrenched power, and awkward guest lists. Everyone (who's left) waits for the next roll, eyes glued to the die. You cannot not care in New York. Even I know that. You’ll die just crossing the street. It’s exciting.” —American artist, author and muse Eve Babitz, “A Californian Looks at New York,” in I Used to Be Charming: The Rest of Eve Babitz, edited by Sara J. Kramer (2019)

This paragraph gives a pretty good idea of the sit-up-and-take-notice quality of Eve Babitz’s prose. For anyone who hopes to get a sense of California from the 1950s to the 1990s (when a freak accident left her with third-degree burns and effectively ended her writing career), I can hardly imagine a more compelling guide.

But, reading this now, in a time of isolation (even as so many hope that era is coming to an end), the quote above feels disconnected from our time. Gossip thrives on society: not merely secrets shared between two people at minimum, but entire occasions that bring people together, encouraging loosened inhibitions and unexpected shared confidences. We have had little to none of that in the COVID-19 pandemic.

Maybe New York will be returning to a recognized form of normality when gossip (as delicious as it is, in Babitz’s words, “dense and thick”) comes back, in the way we once remembered.

Quote of the Day (P. J. O'Rourke, on ‘Greeting Inflation’)

“The importance of conspicuousness in modern life has led to the phenomenon of ‘greeting inflation.’ Once, even the closest friends greeted each other with a polite bow. Today such reticence is almost extinct. A loud ‘Sweetheart,’ a slap on the back, chuck on the arm, tousling of hair, and a cheerful ‘Have a nice day!’ will do if you don't know a person at all. But if you have even the slightest acquaintance with someone, it is usual to embrace him physically no matter what the circumstances. If you're carrying a briefcase or package, just throw it into the gutter. This makes a dramatic gesture of good fellowship.”— American humorist P. J. O'Rourke, “The Fundamentals of Contemporary Courtesy,” in Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People (1989)

Quote of the Day (Ralph Waldo Emerson, on Manners)

“Manners require time, as nothing is more vulgar than haste.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Behavior,” in The Conduct of Life (1860)

Quote of the Day (Edmund Spenser, on the ‘Gentle Mind by Gentle Deeds’)

“The gentle mind by gentle deeds is known,

For a man by nothing is so well betrayed

As by his manners.” —Edmund Spenser (1552-1599), The Faerie Queene (1590)

Quote of the Day (Goethe, on Women and Manners)

"Where there are no women, there are no good manners."--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Elective Affinities (1809)

Quote of the Day (Evelyn Waugh, on Manners)

“Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away with anything.”—Perpetual curmudgeon Evelyn Waugh, The Observer, April 15, 1962