TV Quote of the Day (‘Glee’s’ Sue Sylvester, on Advertisers)

"Commercials aren’t real life. Advertisers are manipulative alcoholics who use images to play on our emotions. Haven't you seen Mad Men?"—Sue Sylvester (played by Jane Lynch), in Glee, "Prom-asaurus," Season 3, Episode 19, written  by Ryan Murphy, directed by Eric Stoltz, air date May 8, 2012

Photo of the Day: Tart and Sweet

Walking through Times Square in the last week, I was immediately struck by the billboard juxtaposing two ABC series, and I just had to take this picture.

The “tart” part of the headline above refers to Jane Lynch of Glee. Her wicked lines as gym coach Sue Sylvester have to be easily the most quotable ones on that series. Take them away, and you’re left with the old Mickey Rooney-Judy Garland routine, “Hey, let’s put on a show!”, updated with trendy messages about the importance of tolerance. Hers is the one character whom you can’t wait to hear. (Sample line: “"Hello, William. I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair.")

The “sweet” part of the headline refers to Zooey Deschanel of the breakout comedy, New Girl. Have you seen this show, faithful reader? Have you seen any part of the rest of her extensive film and TV work? I confess to only having seen one of her films, Almost Famous, and I forgot (though I shouldn’t have) her marvelous role in it: the rebellious elder sister for the Cameron Crowe stand-in, William Miller. (Sample line, hurled at her mom: “This song explains why I'm leaving home to become a stewardess.”)

Well, anyway, ABC’s publicity machine calls her character in New Girl “adorable.” But a friend of mine (and he knows who he is!!!) might have a different term for her. It’s one he once applied to Jenna Elfman of Dharma and Greg: “Goofy cute.”

TV Quote of the Day (“Glee’s” “Sue Sylvester,” on “Holly Holliday”)

“She's looser than a thrift store turtleneck and probably just as diseased."—Sue Sylvester (played by Jane Lynch), on substitute teacher Holly Holliday (played by Gwyneth Paltrow, in the accompanying image), in Glee, Season 2, Episode 17, “A Night of Neglect,” air date April 19, 2011, written by Ian Brennan, directed by Carol Banker

TV Quote of the Day (“Glee’s” Sue Sylvester, on Failure)

“I’m going to ask you to smell your armpits. That’s the smell of failure, and it’s stinking up my office.” —Sue Sylvester (played by Jane Lynch), Glee, “Acafellas,” Season 1, Episode 3, written by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Ian Brennan, air date September 16, 2009

Thank God Jane Lynch brought home an Emmy the other night. Can you imagine her creation barking out this command on national TV if she lost?

TV Quote of the Day (“Glee’s” Sue Sylvester, on Men With Curly Hair)

“I don’t trust a man with curly hair. I can’t help picturing small birds leaving sulphurous eggs in there, and I find it disgusting.” —Sue Sylvester (played by Jane Lynch) of Glee, quoted in Tim Stack, “The Glee Whiz: Jane Lynch,” Entertainment Weekly, 2009 Year-End Special