Quote of the Day (David Sedaris, on a Past January Train Ride)

“[T]here was a smoking car on the Amtrak I took from Raleigh to Chicago in 1984, but seven years later it was gone. By then if you wanted a cigarette your only option was to head for the bar. It sounds all right in passing, romantic even—'the bar on the Lake Shore Limited’—but in fact it was rather depressing. Too bright, too loud, and full of alcoholics who commandeered the seats immediately after boarding and remained there, marinating like cheap kebabs, until they reached their destinations. At first, their voices might strike you as jolly: the warm tones of strangers becoming friends. Then the drinkers would get sloppy and repetitive, settling, finally, on that cross-eyed mush that passes for alcoholic sincerity.” —Comic essayist David Sedaris, on a January 1991 train ride, in “Reflections:Guy Walks into a Bar,” The New Yorker, Apr. 20, 2009

Quote of the Day (David Sedaris, on Waiting to See Santa at the Mall)

“Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation. People stand in line for two hours and they go over the edge.” — Comic essayist David Sedaris, “SantaLand Diaries” (1999)

Quote of the Day (David Sedaris, on When a School Subject Becomes Handy)

“When asked ‘What do we need to learn this for?’ any high-school teacher can confidently answer that, regardless of the subject, the knowledge will come in handy once the student hits middle age and starts working crossword puzzles in order to stave off the terrible loneliness. Because it’s true. Latin, geography, the gods of ancient Greece and Rome: unless you know these things, you’ll be limited to doing the puzzles in People magazine, where the clues read ‘Movie title, Gone____the Wind’ and ‘It holds up your pants.’” —David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000)