TV Quote of the Day (‘New Girl,’ As Jess Is Mistaken for a Blind Date)

Sam Sweeney [played by David Walton]: “Hi—are you Katie? I'm Sam from CupidMatch.”

Jess [played by Zooey Deschanel] [stunned at the sight of this handsome stranger]: “And I'm the girl from my dreams of you.”—New Girl, Season 2, Episode 2, “Katie,” original air date Sept. 25, 2012, teleplay by Elizabeth Meriwether, directed by Larry Charles

TV Quote of the Day (‘New Girl,’ on Jess’s Consumption of Reality TV)

Cece [played by Hannah Simone]: “Even Jess didn't want to hear about it, and she'll listen to Schmidt discussing Andy Cohen discussing Bethenny discussing NeNe.”—New Girl, Season 4, Episode 17, “Spiderhunt,” original air date Feb. 24, 2015, teleplay by Berkley Johnson, directed by Steve Welch

Is Jess these days listening to Andy Cohen’s reactions to the following bits of blowback to his reality TV empire:

*Former Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel’s assertion that reality TV exploits its stars?

*Former RHONJ star Caroline Manzo’s charge that she was sexually harassed and assaulted by former Beverly Hills Housewife Brandi Glanville?

*Former RHNYC Housewife Leah McSweeney’s lawsuit claiming that Bravo and Cohen encouraged substance abuse?

How will Cohen keep all his courtroom dates and uncomfortable media interviews straight? And how will I ever manage to write a sentence about the personalities in Cohen’s reality TV franchise without using the word “former” in connection with them?

(This post is for a friend of mine—AND HE KNOWS WHO HE IS!!!—who is quite the fan of Zooey Deschanel, the actress who played Jess, in the image accompanying this post.)

TV Quote of the Day (‘New Girl,’ As Jess Explains Her Feelings About Santa Claus)

Jess [played by Zooey Deschanel]: “I just believe things and go on believing them. If someone tells me a fat man's bringing me dolls every year, I just don't question it.”—New Girl, Season 2, Episode 11, “Santa,” original air date Dec. 11, 2012, teleplay by Luvh Rakhe, Kim Rosenstock, Rebecca Addelman, Christian Magalhaes, and Robert Snow, directed by Craig Zisk 

TV Quote of the Day (‘New Girl,’ As Jess Ponders a Novel Method of Turkey Thawing)

Jess [played by Zooey Deschanel] [unable to thaw a frozen turkey]: “Maybe if I take off all my clothes and I get in bed with it, the heat of my body will warm it up.”—New Girl, Season 1, Episode 6, “Thanksgiving,” original air date Nov. 15, 2011, teleplay by Berkley Johnson, directed by Miguel Arteta

This post is for a friend of mine (AND HE KNOWS WHO HE IS!!!!) who is a great admirer of Ms. Deschanel.

TV Quote of the Day (‘New Girl,’ With the Prelude to Jess’ Breakup)

[First lines, facing camera]

Jessica Day [played by Zooey Deschanel]: “So you know in horror movies when the girl's like: ‘Oh, my God, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on.’ And you're like, ‘What is your problem? Call the police.’ She's like, ‘Okay,’ but it's too late because she's getting murdered? Well, my story's kind of like that.”— New Girl, Season 1, “Pilot,” original air date Sept. 20, 2011, teleplay by Elizabeth Meriwether, directed by Jake Kasdan

I never watched New Girl during its original run, but in the last couple of weeks, I have watched several episodes from its first and second seasons on DVD. I’m still not sure the direction in which the sitcom would eventually take off. 

But the scene that follows this amusing intro by the titular character, Jess Day—i.e., doing an impromptu striptease for her boyfriend, only to find he’s been fooling around with someone else—is both excruciating and hysterically funny. (Indeed, part of the reason why it’s hilarious is because it’s excruciating.) 

A scene like this, by itself, is enough to make an audience come back, even if subsequent episodes might be a bit disappointing, because of the hope that if magic can occur once, it can be summoned once again.

Photo of the Day: Tart and Sweet

Walking through Times Square in the last week, I was immediately struck by the billboard juxtaposing two ABC series, and I just had to take this picture.

The “tart” part of the headline above refers to Jane Lynch of Glee. Her wicked lines as gym coach Sue Sylvester have to be easily the most quotable ones on that series. Take them away, and you’re left with the old Mickey Rooney-Judy Garland routine, “Hey, let’s put on a show!”, updated with trendy messages about the importance of tolerance. Hers is the one character whom you can’t wait to hear. (Sample line: “"Hello, William. I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair.")

The “sweet” part of the headline refers to Zooey Deschanel of the breakout comedy, New Girl. Have you seen this show, faithful reader? Have you seen any part of the rest of her extensive film and TV work? I confess to only having seen one of her films, Almost Famous, and I forgot (though I shouldn’t have) her marvelous role in it: the rebellious elder sister for the Cameron Crowe stand-in, William Miller. (Sample line, hurled at her mom: “This song explains why I'm leaving home to become a stewardess.”)

Well, anyway, ABC’s publicity machine calls her character in New Girl “adorable.” But a friend of mine (and he knows who he is!!!) might have a different term for her. It’s one he once applied to Jenna Elfman of Dharma and Greg: “Goofy cute.”