TV Quote of the Day (‘All in the Family,’ As Archie Addresses His Bar’s Customers on Super Bowl Sunday)

Archie Bunker [played by Carroll O’Connor]: “Before the second half starts here, I just want to take the opportunity to express my, whaddyacallit, gratitude and depreciation to all my loyal friends and customers here who are here with me today to share with me in watching this magnificent sportin' event.” —All in the Family, Season 8, Episode 16, “Super Bowl Sunday,” original air date Jan. 15, 1978, 78, teleplay by Bob Weiskopf, Bob Schiller, and Johnny Speight, directed by Paul Bogart

One difference between this Super Bowl and the one 48 years ago: “this magnificent sportin' event” concludes the NFL season three weeks later. Way too long, as far as I’m concerned.

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Beverly Hillbillies,’ With Granny’s Bone to Pick with the Weather Bureau)

[Despite the U.S. Weather Bureau’s new satellite service predicting fair and clear skies, Granny insists that her beetles indicate rain.]

Justin Addison [played by John McGiver]: “Today, we no longer have to rely on such things as prognosticating beetles.”

Daisy Moses (aka Granny) [played by Irene Ryan]: “Don't you call my beetles whatever it is you just called them!”— The Beverly Hillbillies, Season 2, Episode 25, “Granny Versus the Weather Bureau,” original air date Mar 25, 1964, teleplay by Paul Henning and Mark Tuttle, directed by Richard Whorf

Well, many people in my part of the Northeast think that ol’ Granny might be onto something with her disdain for the Weather Bureau. Sure, the agency (now known as the U.S. Weather Service) kept warning through the past week to expect a major storm. But their initial “prognostication” for my corner of Bergen County, NJ indicated 10-14 inches. Throughout last night, that prediction ended up nearly doubling.

Of course, the bureau had its escape clauses: it could depend on where and when it shifted to sleet. But the fact is, the snow totals kept ratcheting up the closer they got to the event.

Still, I suppose it could be worse. Maybe it has been, but those still left in the service (which is part of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) might be afraid to talk following the nearly 600 colleagues who left it through terminations, buyouts, and resignations pushed by Elon Musk’s so-called Department of Government Efficiency last year.

By last summer, enough alarms were being raised about these reductions’ potential for slowing down warnings of extreme weather events that the service received permission to hire up to 450 meteorologists to restore some of those slots.

Only, as part of the rehiring process, applicants were asked to identify one or two of Trump’s executive orders “that are significant to you, and explain how you would help implement them if hired,” as well as how they would use their skills to improve government efficiency and effectiveness,” according to an August 2025 report by the Associated Press.

How much does anything of this relate to knowledge of meteorology? How many applicants were tempted to answer that it would help the President better anticipate major storms around his properties in Mar-a-Lago and Bedminster, NJ?

More than 60 years have passed since Granny faced off against the government’s weather forecasters, but we may be edging closer to her “prognosticating beetles” than we think.

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Munsters,’ on a Gallic Blond Bombshell Back in the Day)

Lily Munster [played by Yvonne De Carlo]: “Herman's practicing to be a child.”

Grandpa [played by Al Lewis]: “Practicing? That's like Brigitte Bardot practicing to be a girl.”— The Munsters, Season 2, Episode 27, “Eddie's Brother,” original air date Mar. 24, 1966, teleplay by Dick Conway, Allan Burns, and Chris Hayward, directed by Ezra Stone

As a tween, I often watched the two seasons of The Munsters, and after all of that how many lines do you think I can recall? Only this set.

Part of the reason, I surmised while researching this blog post, was that this episode was the one with lines used for commercials promoting the horror sitcom in syndicated reruns in the early Seventies. Never underestimate the power of repetition on impressionable young minds!

And never underestimate the impression made by a pretty female face and figure on males of any age.

When The Munsters first aired this episode, French actress Brigitte Bardot, who died this weekend at age 91, had already been an international star for a decade, ever since her appearance in …And God Created Woman. That film’s popularity was assured as soon as it was banned in several states and condemned by the Catholic Legion of Decency for its depiction of a free-spirited, “liberated” woman.

Only two years before Grandpa drew his extremely unlikely comparison of his big, awkward, ugly son-in-law Herman to the modestly sized, mambo-dancing, comely actress, Bardot had herself become the subject of a movie: Dear Brigitte, with James Stewart sputtering in frustration as his math prodigy son develops a crush on the blond bombshell.

Time Magazine called her “the countess of come hither,” but the phrase that seems to have first come into heavy use—specifically about her—was “sex kitten.” The quality evoked by that phrase—innocence and sensuality—came into play most often in frothy comedies like Viva Maria! (1965), made with fellow French icon Jeanne Moreau.

That’s the only one of her movies I ever sat through. More than 50 years later, I don’t recall being particularly bowled over by it.

Bardot’s private life (four husbands, four suicide attempts) was as tumultuous as her public one (support for the far-right group National Front, noisy opposition to the #MeToo Movement). Her post-retirement activism on behalf of animal rights was, in the end, more heartfelt and passionate than her pouty screen siren image. 

I’m glad she lived as long as she did, without suffering the premature, youthful death of another alluring blonde who sprang to fame in the Fifties: Marilyn Monroe.

TV Quote of the Day (‘Veep,’ on Executive Branch Overspending)

Selina Meyer [played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus] [berating aide Gary for overspending on a state dinner on her behalf]: “Who do you think you are? Gary Antoinette?!” —Veep, Season 4, Episode 2, “East Wing,” original air date Apr. 19, 2015, teleplay by Kevin Cecil, Roger Drew, and Andy Riley, directed by Stephanie Laing

TV Quote of the Day (‘WKRP in Cincinnati,’ As Jennifer Shows Which Opening Line Works Best)

Waiter [played by Jim Begg] [placing down the next round of drinks sent by strangers to Jennifer, who has been receiving such all night, the waiter stating from whom they were sent]: “Little Guy with Bowtie, Tall Black Man, Cowboy and Longshoreman.”

Jennifer Marlowe [played by Loni Anderson] [seeing that the waiter was referring to Les Nessman, Venus Flytrap, Andy Travis and Johnny Fever, who approach her table]: “Hi, guys!”

Andy Travis [played by Gary Sandy]: “Oh, what's your sign?”

Venus Flytrap [played by Tim Reid]: “You live around here, Mama?”

Dr. Johnny Fever [played by Howard Hesseman]: “Want a little action, sugar?”

Jennifer: “Well, Les, don't you have an opening line?”

Les Nessman [played by Richard Sanders] [looking uneasy, then sits down and picks up a drink]: “Hi, I'm extremely wealthy.”

Jennifer [as Jennifer and Les clink glasses together, cooing]: “Ooh!!!!”—WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 1, Episode 15, “Never Leave Me, Lucille,” original air date Mar. 5, 1979, teleplay by Bill Dial, directed by Asaad Kelada

If you don’t see an actor for years and then learn he or she is dead, the image you retain is still of them from the height of their celebrity. And so it was for Loni Anderson.

Her obituaries this past week said she’d died at age 79, just short of her 80th birthday, but in the mind’s eye of so many of us, she was still Jennifer Marlowe—glamorous, but smarter than all the besotted males at that struggling Midwestern radio station. 

“I’ve done six other series but I’ve stayed closest to my ‘WKRP’ family,” Ms. Anderson said of her castmates in a September 2018 interview on the “Baltimore Media Blog.” “If you’re lucky to have a family like that, cherish it.”

TV Quote of the Day (‘Get Smart,’ With a Desperate Moment for Max and Company)

Hathaway, the villain with an eyepatch [played by Eric Brotherson] [pointing a gun at Max, the Chief and 99]: “Only one question remains: who goes first?”

Maxwell Smart [played by Don Adams]: “Eh, you haven't volunteered for anything lately, Chief...”— Get Smart, Season 3, Episode 10, “That Old Gang of Mine,” original air date Dec/ 2, 1967, teleplay by Phil Hahn and Jack Hanrahan, directed by Norman Abbott

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Office,’ on Dunder Mifflin’s ‘Best Manager’)

 

Chris O'Keefe, board member and former congressman [played by Chris Ellis] [after listening to Dunder Mifflin's Michael Scott bloviate]: “He's the best manager? Where's the off button on this moron?” — The Office, Season 6, Episode 11, “Shareholder Meeting,” original air date Nov. 19, 2009, teleplay by Justin Spitzer, directed by Charles McDougall

Like just about everyone who reads this post, I had, over my long professional career, many moments when I (silently) doubted a manager's ability with as much vehemence as O’Keefe.

Lately, I have wished that the “off button” could be pressed on another person in charge, who now has considerably more authority than Michael Scott ever had. But it looks like that won’t happen for a while yet—if it ever will.

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ As Sheldon Says the Wrong Thing Again)

Sandy [played by Yeardley Smith]: “So, Mister Cooper, you're looking for a job.”

Dr. Sheldon Cooper [played by Jim Parsons]: “A menial job. Like yours.”

Sandy: “Why, thank you for noticing. I'm Menial Employee of the Month.” — The Big Bang Theory, Season 3, Episode 14, “The Einstein Approximation,” original air date Feb. 1, 2010, teleplay by Steven Molaro and Eric Kaplan, directed by Mark Cendrowski

TV Quote of the Day (‘M*A*S*H,’ As Potter and Radar Consider Cigars)

Col. Sherman Potter [played by Harry Morgan]: “Cigar?” 

Cpl. Walter “Radar” O'Reilly [played by Gary Burghoff]: “Will it stunt my growth?”

Col. Potter [eyeing the short Radar]: “What do you got to lose?”

Radar: “Is it habit forming?”

Col. Potter: “Nah. I've been smoking five cigars a day for 45 years. Never got the habit.”— M*A*S*H, Season 6, Episode 1, “Fade Out, Fade In,” original air date Sept. 20, 1977, teleplay by James Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum, directed by Hy Averback

Talking about tongues planted firmly in cheek! Just as M*A*S*H used the distant mirror of the Korean conflict to comment on the Vietnam War, its writers realized that their audience would know that, 13 years before, the Surgeon General’s report had warned that smoking causes lung cancer and probably heart disease.

TV Quote of the Day (‘Designing Women,’ on the REAL ‘Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia’)

[Sugarbaker family nemesis Marjorie Lee Winnick, having just made catty comments about Suzanne, a former beauty contest contestant, thinks incorrectly that she’s now the only one in the room.]

Julia Sugarbaker [played by Dixie Carter]: “I’m Julia Sugarbaker, Suzanne Sugarbaker’s sister. I couldn’t help over hearing part of your conversation.”

Marjorie Lee Winnick [played by Pamela Bowen]: “Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was here.”

Julia: “Yes, and I gather from your comments there are a couple of other things you don't know, Marjorie. For example, you probably didn't know that Suzanne was the only contestant in Georgia pageant history to sweep every category except congeniality, and that is not something the women in my family aspire to anyway. Or that when she walked down the runway in her swimsuit, five contestants quit on the spot. Or that when she emerged from the isolation booth to answer the question, ‘What would you do to prevent war?’ she spoke so eloquently of patriotism, battlefields and diamond tiaras, grown men wept. And you probably didn't know, Marjorie, that Suzanne was not just any Miss Georgia, she was the Miss Georgia. She didn't twirl just a baton, that baton was on fire. And when she threw that baton into the air, it flew higher, further, faster than any baton has ever flown before, hitting a transformer and showering the darkened arena with sparks! And when it finally did come down, Marjorie, my sister caught that baton, and 12,000 people jumped to their feet for sixteen and one-half minutes of uninterrupted thunderous ovation, as flames illuminated her tear-stained face! And that, Marjorie—just so you will know—and your children will someday know—is the night the lights went out in Georgia!”— Designing Women, Season 1, Episode 2, “The Beauty Contest,” original air date Oct. 6, 1986, teleplay by Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, directed by Jack Shea

TV Quote of the Day (‘M*A*S*H,’ As Margaret Utters a Sweet Endearment to Frank)

Maj. Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan [played by Loretta Swit]: “Frank?”

Maj. Frank Marion “Ferret Face” Burns: “Yes, dear?”

Margaret: “For a moment there, you looked like you had a chin.” —M*A*S*H, Season 4, Episode 1, “Welcome to Korea,” original air date Sept. 12, 1975, teleplay by Everett Greenbaum, Jim Fritzell, and Larry Gelbart, directed by Gene Reynolds

TV Quote of the Day (‘Friends,’ on a Complication of Joey Dating Phoebe’s Sister)

[Joey has decided to date Phoebe’s twin sister Ursula.]

Joey [played by Matt LeBlanc]: “Hey, you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it expensive?

Chandler [played by Matthew Perry]: “Only if you order stuff...”

Joey: “I'm takin’ Ursula there; it's her birthday.”

Ross [played by David Schwimmer]: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What about Phoebe's birthday?”:

Joey: “When's that?”

Ross: “Tonight!”

Joey: “Oh, man... what are the odds of that happening?”

Ross: “You take your time.”—Friends, Season 1, Episode 16, “The One with Two Parts: Part 1,” original air date Feb. 23, 1995, teleplay by David Crane and Marta Kauffman, directed by Michael Lembeck

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show,’ As Ted Delivers an On-Air Obit for Chuckles the Clown)

Ted Baxter [played by Ted Knight]: [ad-libbing an on-air obituary]: “Ladies and gentlemen, sad news. One of our most beloved entertainers, and close personal friend of mine, is dead. Chuckles the Clown died today from - from uh - he died a broken man. Chuckles, uh, leaves a wife. At least I assume he was married, he didn't seem like the other kind. I don't know his age, but I guess he was probably in his early sixties; it's kind of hard to judge a guy's face especially when he's wearing big lips and a light bulb for a nose. But he had his whole life in front of him, except for the sixty some odd years he already lived. I remember, Chuckles used to recite a poem at the end of each program. It was called 'The Credo of the Clown,' and I'd like to offer it now in his memory - 'A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.' That's what it's all about, folks, that's what he stood for, that's what gave his life meaning. Chuckles liked to make people laugh. You know what I'd like to think, I'd like to think that somewhere, up there tonight, in his honor, a choir of angels is sitting on whoopee cushions.”— The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Season 6, Episode 7, “Chuckles Bites the Dust,” original air date Oct. 25, 1975, teleplay by James L. Brooks, Allan Burns, and David Lloyd, directed by Joan Darling

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Office,’ As Michael Defends His Reaction to an E-Mail Scam)

Toby Flenderson [played by Paul Lieberstein]: “Didn't you lose a lot of money on that other investment, that one from the e-mail?”

Michael Scott [played by Steve Carell]: “You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?”— The Office, Season 2, Episode 19, “Michael’s Birthday,” original air date Mar. 30, 2006, teleplay by Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg, directed by Ken Whittingham

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Andy Griffith Show,’ As Andy and Gomer Deal With Barney’s Jealousy)

[Deputy Barney Fife, jealous over girlfriend Thelma Lou’s extra attention to Gomer Pyle, walks out of the Mayberry jail, refusing to speak to him.]

Gomer Pyle [played by Jim Nabors]: “What's the matter with Barney?”

Sheriff Andy Taylor [played by Andy Griffith]: “Well, Gomer, Barney's been bitten by the green-eyed monster.”

Gomer: “He has? Well, they got some stuff down at the drugstore that'll keep 'em off of you. One fell on me just yesterday!”— The Andy Griffith Show, Season 4, Episode 30, “Barney and Thelma Lou, Phfftt,” original air date Mar. 4, 1964, teleplay by Bill Idelson and Sam Bobrick, directed by Coby Ruskin

TV Quote of the Day (‘Veep,’ With Perhaps Its Most Devastating Insult of Jonah Ryan)

[In the frantic effort to monitor the Nevada Presidential vote recount, White House aide Jonah Ryan grows splenetic over taking a back seat to cheery recount specialist Richard Splett.]

Jonah Ryan [played by Timothy Simons]: “You guys have Michael Jordan sitting on the bench here, but you're starting Hakeem Olajutwat.”

Amy Brookheimer [played by Anna Chlumsky]: “You are not Michael Jordan. You are a seven-foot-seven, goony-looking Lithuanian who's gonna drop dead of Marfan syndrome. Get your ass in the car.”—Veep, Season 5, Episode 2, “Nev-AD-a,” original air date May 1, 2016, teleplay by Lew Morton, Armando Iannucci, and Alexis Wilkinson, directed by Chris Addison

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ As Amy Refuses to Take Sheldon to the Dentist)

Amy Farrah Fowler [played by Mayim Bialik] [explaining why she can’t take Sheldon to the dentist]: “I'm sorry, Sheldon. I'm busy. I'm right in the middle of my addiction study. I've got a lab full of alcoholic monkeys, and tomorrow's the day we switch them to O'Douls.” — The Big Bang Theory, Season 5, Episode 15, “The Friendship Contraction,” original air date Feb. 2, 2011, teleplay by Bill Prady, Steven Molaro, and Steve Holland, directed by Mark Cendrowski

Clearly, a bigger emergency than Sheldon’s!

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Honeymooners,’ With Ralph on How ‘The Squeeze Play’ Works in Salary Negotiations)

Ralph Kramden [played by Jackie Gleason]: “I go right over to see Mr. Marshall, my boss. I tell Mr. Marshall that I have this other offer and that it offers me 40, maybe 50 dollars a day. Therefore, I'll have to leave the bus company, otherwise he'll have to give me my promotion and raise. And that's what you call ‘the squeeze play.’ You know he's not gonna get rid of me.”

Alice Kramden [played by Audrey Meadows]: “It's not gonna work, Ralph.”

Ralph: “What do you mean, it's not gonna work? I'm going to squeeze Mr. Marshall. He's in no position to squeeze me.”

Alice: “Of course not. He couldn't even get his arms around you!”—The Honeymooners, Season 1, Episode 35, “Mind Your Own Business,” original air date May 26, 1956, teleplay by Leonard Stern, Sydney Zelinka and Jackie Gleason (uncredited), directed by Frank Satenstein

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Office,’ As Dwight Cries Foul Over Favors)

Dwight Schrute [played by Rainn Wilson] [to camera crew]: “Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends, so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Jeez, when did everyone get so cynical?”—The Office, Season 6, Episode 9, “Double Date,” air date Nov. 5, 2009, teleplay by Charlie Grandy, directed by Seth Gordon

Quote of the Day (David Halberstam, on the Suburban World of the Cleavers and Nelsons)

“In this world the moms never worked. These were most decidedly one-income homes….These families were living the new social contract as created by Bill Levitt and other suburban developers like him and were surrounded by new neighbors who were just like them….In the Cleaver family of Leave It to Beaver, the family always seemed to eat together and the pies were homemade. June Cleaver, it was noted, prepared two hot meals a day. The Cleavers were not that different from the Nelsons, who had preceded them into the television suburbia: No one knew in which state or suburb they lived, and no one knew what Ward Cleaver, like Ozzie Nelson, did for a living, except that it was respectable and that it demanded a shirt, tie, and suit….As Beaver Cleaver (a rascal, with a predilection for trouble), once told June Cleaver (who was almost always well turned out in sweater and skirts), ‘You know, Mom, when we’re in a mess, you kind of make things seem not so messy.’ ‘Well,’ answered June, ‘isn’t that sort of what mothers are for?’”— American journalist and historian David Halberstam (1934-2007), The Fifties (1993)

Sixty-five years ago today, the official first episode of Leave It to Beaver premiered, with two crucial casting changes from its pilot in the spring: Hugh Beaumont took over as Ward Cleaver and Tony Dow as Wally, the older son of Ward and June. 

As David Halberstam’s analysis in the above passage shows, it was too much to expect much in the way of reality from Leave It to Beaver, The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, or the other two major family sitcoms of the late Fifties and early Sixties, Father Knows Best and The Donna Reed Show. These series offered escapism, a flight from sordid reality, the same way that the suburban viewers they primarily appealed to had sought it in fleeing from the ills of the city in the postwar world.

Nowadays, those black-and-white images are bathed in nostalgia, even set in amber in a world where parents were not only “respectable,” unquestioned paragons, but adults never quarreled for long or broke up for good--or where adults as a group never aged, let alone died.

More than a few baby boomers, watching Leave It to Beaver in either its original run or (like me) in reruns, felt reality intrude on our memories when we heard the news several weeks ago of Tony Dow’s death. A talented, gray-haired, 77-year-old artist passing on? Nah. He’ll always be the cheerful, good-natured older brother who always looks out for you.