TV Quote of the Day (‘Everybody Loves Raymond,’ As the Barones Eat a Healthy Thanksgiving Meal)

[Marie Barone, trying to go on a healthier diet, has just presented the tofu turkey on Thanksgiving.]

Frank Barone [played by Peter Boyle]: “May I have my carving knife, please?”

Marie Barone [played by Doris Roberts]: “Thank you, Frank.”

Frank: “I wanna slit my throat!”— Everybody Loves Raymond, Season 3, Episode 10, “No Fat,” original air date Nov. 23, 1998, teleplay by Ellen Sandler, Susan Van Allen, and Ray Romano, directed by Steve Zuckerman

TV Quote of the Day (‘New Girl,’ As Jess Ponders a Novel Method of Turkey Thawing)

Jess [played by Zooey Deschanel] [unable to thaw a frozen turkey]: “Maybe if I take off all my clothes and I get in bed with it, the heat of my body will warm it up.”—New Girl, Season 1, Episode 6, “Thanksgiving,” original air date Nov. 15, 2011, teleplay by Berkley Johnson, directed by Miguel Arteta

This post is for a friend of mine (AND HE KNOWS WHO HE IS!!!!) who is a great admirer of Ms. Deschanel.