TV Quote of the Day (‘Seinfeld,’ As George Discovers What Jerry’s Girlfriend Thinks of Him)

George Costanza [played by Jason Alexander]: “What did Jodi say?”

Jerry [played by Jerry Seinfeld]: “She had a good time.”

George: “Is that it?”

Jerry: “Pretty much.”

George: “Did she say anything about, uh...”

Jerry: “What?”

George: “Nah. It's all right. Great! She had a good time.”

Jerry: “Yeah.” (A so-so yeah as he sips coffee)

George: “You just hesitated.”

Jerry: “I was blowing on the coffee.”

George: “She didn't like me?”

Jerry: “Look, it's not like you're gonna be spending a lot of time with her.”

George: “So she doesn't like me?”

Jerry: “No.”

George: “She said that?”

Jerry: “Yes.”

George: “She told you she doesn't like me!”

Jerry: “Yes.”

George: “What were her exact—"

Jerry: "‘I don't like him.’"

George: “Uh-Huh.” (gulp) “Why didn't she like me?”

Jerry: “Not everybody likes everybody!”

George: “I tried to be nice. I wasn't nice?”

Jerry: “You were very nice!”

George: “I bent over backwards for that woman! Is it that thing I said about her sister?”

Jerry: “It has nothing to do with her sister.”

George: “I don't even know her sister but believe me, if she's getting traffic tickets, she's not that good-looking!”— Seinfeld, Season 5, Episode 9, “The Masseuse,” original air date Nov. 18, 1993, teleplay by Peter Mehlman, directed by Tom Cherones

TV Quote of the Day (‘The Big Bang Theory,’ As Bob Newhart Figures Out the Genius Among the Nerds)

[Initially, Sheldon and Leonard are surprised to find at their door—out of breath from having to take the stairs—an elderly actor named Arthur Jeffries. But they end up delighted to learn that he is the hero of their childhood, the host of a science show, “Professor Proton.”]

Dr. Sheldon Cooper [played by Jim Parsons]: “Professor Proton, it’s an honor to meet you.”

Arthur [played by Bob Newhart] [still exhausted]: “Just, just call me Arthur.”

Sheldon: “Leonard, you hear that? Professor Proton said I should call him Arthur. That means we’re friends.”

Arthur: “No. A friend would’ve, would’ve told me about the elevator.”

Sheldon: “Look at me. I can get as close to you as I want without my mom saying it’s going to ruin my eyes.”

Arthur [turning to Leonard, confused and disturbed]: “Is, uh, is he dangerous?”

Leonard Hofstadter [played by Johnny Galecki]: “Actually, he’s a genius.”

Sheldon: “I am.”

Arthur: “That doesn’t answer my question.”

Leonard: “Mr. Jeffries, I’m, I’m Leonard. This is my girlfriend, Penny.”

Arthur [turning to face her, finally perking up]: “Hi.”

Penny [played by Kaley Cuoco]: “Hello.”

Arthur: “Well, I hope I haven’t, uh, kept the kids waiting too long for, for the show.”

Sheldon: “Oh, no, there are no kids. No, the, the show’s for me. Come on. I’ll race ya, Arthur.”

Arthur [to Leonard]: “Is the, is the blond girl really your, your girlfriend?”

Leonard: “Yes, sir.”

Arthur: “You’re the genius.”—The Big Bang Theory, Season 6, Episode 22, “The Proton Resurgence,” original air date May 2, 2013, teleplay by Steven Molaro, Eric Kaplan and Maria Ferrari, directed by Mark Cendrowski