“Your soulmate, statistically, is in China. That’s
where your soulmate is, and that’s where they’ll die. The closest you’ll get is
maybe your soulmate touched your phone on an assembly line, but that’s the
closest where your stars will ever cross. Maybe he stitched your mom’s blouse
when he was in third grade.”—Stand-up comic Nikki Glaser, Nikki Glaser: Someday You’ll Die,” original air date May 11, 2024, teleplay by Nikki
Glaser, directed by Hamish Hamilton
The image accompanying this post, showing Nikki Glaser
on “The Blocks” podcast, was taken Dec. 22, 2022, by Neal Brennan.
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