“The rumor that I buried a dead aunt under my
grapevine was correct. The vine needed fertilizing, my aunt had to be buried,
and I dedicated her to this high purpose. Does that unfit me for the
presidency? The Constitution of our country does not say so. No other citizen
was ever considered unworthy of this office because he enriched his grapevines
with his dead relatives. Why should I be selected as the first victim of an
absurd prejudice?”— American novelist and humorist Mark Twain (1835-1910), “A
Presidential Candidate,” in Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches and Essays, 1852-1890, edited by Louis J. Budd (1992)
Just think—Twain wrote the above without ever
watching Alan Dershowitz’s impeachment defense of the President that Spy Magazine
once referred to as the “short-fingered vulgarian.” Remarkable, isn’t
it?
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