“The Mets have six major-league caliber players on their roster with surnames that sound suspiciously like the name of an animal. The Zoo of Flushing has a flock of birds (pitchers Tim BYRDak and LaTroy HAWKins), woodland creatures (catcher John BUCK), domesticated farm animals (outfielder Collin COWgill) and even the king of the jungle (pitcher Brandon LYON). They also have outfielder Marlon Byrd, who is essentially a flying fish.”—Jared Diamond, “Baseball's Animal House,” The Wall Street Journal, March 9, 2013
It’s a good thing that Diamond pre-emptively cops to Cowgill’s quote in the article that “You'd have to have a lot of time on your hands to come up with that." By logic similar to the one used here, the sportswriter’s surname should qualify him as a member of a major financial concern. No such luck, I guess!