“Why do we like train wrecks? Why do we
like to watch? Why do we slow down when we go past an accident scene? It's the
nature of the beast, I guess."—Mary Jo Connery, on America’s continuing fascination
with ex-husband Joey Buttafuoco and her would-be killer, Amy Fisher, quoted in
“Mary Jo Scoffs at Joey and Amy's Second Shot at Love,” quoted in Good Morning
America, May 17, 2007
This particular “train wreck” occurred
on this date 20 years ago, when Amy Fisher shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the face on the doorstep of her Long
Island home. Thus started the prototype of the modern tabloid sex scandal.
A shooting is a deadly affair—except when
the media decide it isn’t. It might have been different if, against all
odds, Mary Jo had died. But she survived and, for awhile, even stayed with and
defended her sleazy husband. That seemed to give the media license for a
free-for-all in which the victim in all of this came in for almost as much
criticism as Joey and Amy.
Before long, the tabloids and network
and cable stations were airing every detail of how the Long Island Lolita
hooked up with Long Island Lothario Joey Buttafuoco. The hotter Joey’s denials of
impropriety, the more obvious it became that the teen (16 years old when she began sleeping with the married man) was servicing him as much as he had serviced her in his normal capacity at his
auto-body shop. And the more obvious the affair, the more undignified—ridiculous,
even—Joey looked in disavowing it.
Every year, television honors its best
with the Emmy Awards. I bet you can guess that none of the three TV movies about the affair (including one starring Drew Barrymore) ended up with any
nominations. I think it’s a safe bet,
too, that all of the personnel involved with creating or green-lighting these
products would prefer that their obituaries not mention these particular
credits.
On the other hand, one person’s career
achieved greater heights because of the affair—or, rather, because of its comic
fodder for his act. Three years before Jay Leno’s “The Dancing Itos” parodied
the O.J. Simpson trial principals, David Letterman discovered comic gold in
another shooting. So incessant—and, yes, deadly funny—were his barbs that he
had only had to utter the word “Buttafuoco” in his opening monologue to
convulse his audience. He even got a guest on his show, Al Gore, to announce that
his Secret Service nickname was “Buttafuoco.”
Wait a second…Something is wrong there.
That moniker should have been assigned to Gore's boss, who, only a few months
before this triangle, had heatedly—and misleadingly—denied his own fling with a
tabloid-ready personality, a nightclub “entertainer.” Just as Joey should have
avoided getting mixed-up with a confused teenager, so Bill Clinton should have
run far, far away from a trashy blonde with dark roots and a weird penchant for spelling her first name “Gennifer.” And, just as Joey should have done with Amy, the
President should have sung “Go Away, Little Girl” as soon as his eyes lit on
Monica Lewinsky.
Many people wondered why Mary Jo stuck
with her sleazy husband—though many of these same people did not ask why
Hillary Clinton didn’t walk out on hers. (Eleven years later, tiring of
his antics—including, in the interim, solicitation of a prostitute—Mary Jo at
last filed for divorce.)
Earlier this year, Mary Jo remarried—the
most visible she has been since she gave the heave-ho to Joe. She has certainly
come out with more of a measure of dignity than Fisher (latest career move: Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew) or Joey
(additional criminal charges: auto-insurance fraud and illegal possession of
ammunition). After she referred to him as a "sociopath" in a memoir a few years ago, he hired a lawyer who sued her on the grounds that she had "made Mr. Buttafuoco a pariah in the community, causing him not just public embarrassment, but the loss of business."
At least Joey's legal eagle was being paid to look like an idiot, unlike his thick-headed client....
At least Joey's legal eagle was being paid to look like an idiot, unlike his thick-headed client....
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