Frasier Crane [played
by Kelsey Grammer]: “Very well. You leave me no alternative
but to call in my marker.”
Niles Crane [played
by David Hyde Pierce] [nervously]: “What marker?”
Frasier
[ominously]: “Oh, I think you know.”
Niles:
“You wouldn't.”
Frasier:
“I would.”
Niles:
“You can't!”
Frasier:
“I will.”
Niles:
“That was three years ago!”
Frasier:
“I don't recall there being any statute of limitations. I distinctly recall
that when you asked me to go out with Maris's sister, you said that you would ‘owe
me one forever.’”
Niles:
“But you only spent one evening with Brie. That hardly compares with what
you're asking me to endure.”
Frasier:
“Oh? Shall I refresh your memory? Midway through the opera her ermine muff
began to tremble. As it turned out she had used it to smuggle in her adorably
incontinent Chihuahua. Just as I thought we'd reached the low point of the
evening I suddenly felt a sandpaper tongue licking my earlobe. Alas it did not
belong to little Hervé! Fortunately my shriek coincided with the on-stage
murder of Gondolfo! Roz will expect you on Monday at two.”
Niles:
“For your information, Brie had a very tough row to hoe growing up. It's not
easy going through life with one nostril.”
Frasier:
“Did I mention she had a cold that night?”
Niles:
“Monday at two it is.”—Frasier, Season 4, Episode 5, “Head Game,”
original air date Nov. 12, 1996, teleplay by Rob Greenberg, directed by David
Lee
