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“There's been a mistake. You've accidentally given
me the food that my food eats.”—Ron
Swanson [played by Nick Offerman],
to a wedding caterer about his salad, in Parks
and Recreation, Season 5, Episode 12, “Ann's Decision,” original air date Feb. 7, 2013, teleplay by Nate DiMeo, directed
by Ken Whittingham
“To make a good salad is to be a brilliant
diplomatist - the problem is so entirely the same in both cases. To know
exactly how much oil one must put with one's vinegar.” —Anglo-Irish playwright
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), Vera: or, The Nihilists (1883)
“I hate when I try to order a salad and my mouth
says, ‘I'll have a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.’"—Stand-up comic Jim Gaffigan, tweet of Apr. 29, 2014
