Quote of the Day (Fran Lebowitz, on Her Urban Instincts)

“To put it bluntly, I am not the type of person who wants to go back to the land; I am the person of person who wants to go back to the hotel.”—American humorist and actor Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies (1981)

With Nora Ephron gone, the closest thing our time may have to the wit Dorothy Parker might be Fran Lebowitz—and, like Parker, though Lebowitz made her reputation in New York, she was born across the Hudson River—in Morristown, NJ, 75 years ago today, to be exact.

Unlike Parker or Ephron, Ms. Lebowitz has not gone to Hollywood as a screenwriter. In fact, she’s not written anything remotely substantial since the 1990s.

Still, she would dispute any notion that the phrase “writer's block” applies to her, though not for the reason you may think: 

“I would not call it a writer's block,” she has said. “A writer's block to me is a temporary thing. A month, you know, six weeks. This was more a writer's blockade.”

Until she breaks this "blockade," fans will have to make do with the two essay collections Lebowitz published 40 to 50 years ago, Metropolitan Life and Social Studies; view Martin Scorsese’s documentary about her from four years ago, Pretend It’s A City; and watch out for occasional interviews over the years in which she engages in hilarious venting and kvetching with all manner of opinions.

Quote of the Day (Fran Lebowitz, on Lunatics and the Internet)

“I'm sure the Internet is a wonderful thing in many ways. But one of the bad things it does is connect a lot of people that, before the Internet, would have just been by themselves being lunatics. If someone is just a lunatic in their room, or a lunatic in their town, society can absorb it pretty easily. But if all the lunatics connect up, it can be very dangerous.”—American humorist Fran Lebowitz quoted by Jim Beckerman, “Fran Lebowitz Always Speaks Her Mind as a Quintessential New Yorker, by Way of Morristown,” The Bergen Record, Feb. 19, 2023

Quote of the Day (Fran Lebowitz, on Household Help)

“I'd love to have a cook because I'm very interested in eating but not in cooking. And I don't like to eat in restaurants where the general public is so often to be found. I would really prefer to eat at home, except there's no food there. I have frequently been observed in other people's kitchens talking to their cooks, in the hope that they will like me so much they will come work for me for free. I don’t really want to do anything for myself at all.”—American humorist Fran Lebowitz, “Money” (interview), Vanity Fair, July 1997, reprinted in Mirth of a Nation: The Best Contemporary Humor, edited by Michael J. Rosen (2000)

TV Quote of the Day (Fran Lebowitz, on Dolly Parton and NYC’s Bill de Blasio)

“The present mayor, Bill de Blasio, is pretty much the most unifying politician in the country. Everyone hates him. Everyone. The city is as one in its hatred of de Blasio…. Rich people hate him, poor people hate him, white people, black people, young people, old people, men, women. He’s universally hated. He’s like the opposite of Dolly Parton. Like, everyone loves Dolly Parton and everyone hates Bill de Blasio. There’s no doubt in every New Yorker’s mind that Dolly Parton would be a much better mayor than Bill de Blasio.”—Humorist Fran Lebowitz appearing on Late Night With Seth Meyers, Jan. 8, 2021 episode

Even as I laughed hard at Ms. Lebowitz’s description of Bill de Blasio, I wondered: Is it that bad for him now? Surely his family are still with him, right? And doesn’t he have any remnant of the original coalition that brought him into Gracie Mansion?

As for Dolly Parton (pictured, of course)—who, incidentally, was born 75 years ago today in Locust Ridge, Tenn.—it’s only been in the last 20 years or so that I’ve come to appreciate her. But it really is rather hard not to love a woman who:

*can poke fun at herself with lines like, “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap”;

*stole the film 9 to 5 right from under the nose of veteran actresses Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin;

*not only made millions singing herself but made even more millions for others by writing songs covered by the likes of Whitney Houston, Olivia Newton-John, Merle Haggard, Skeeter Davis, and Tina Turner;

*boosted literacy among children by founding the Imagination Library; and,

*helped fund Moderna's COVID-19 vaccine through a $1 million donating this past spring.

Over the years, Dolly has given people plenty of reasons to smile. These are just a few of them. But even one is enough to lead us to wish her a very Happy Birthday.

Quote of the Day (Fran Lebowitz, on What Different People Talk About)

“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”—American humorist Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies (1981)

Happy 70^th birthday to Fran Lebowitz. Like Dorothy Parker, to whom she’s often compared, she made her reputation as a sardonic New Yorker but was actually born in New Jersey. And, as with Ms. Parker, many people wish that she could have written more over the years.

Quote of the Day (Fran Lebowitz, Reassuring High-School Seniors in the Home Stretch)

“Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”—American humorist Fran Lebowitz, "Tips for Teens," in Social Studies (1981)

Quote of the Day (Fran Lebowitz, on a False Choice for NYC)

“Usually people say, ‘Oh, did you like it better when the city was dangerous and dirty?’ No, I didn’t. But those things do not go hand in hand. The choice shouldn’t be between dangerous and dirty, or clean and psychotically expensive. That means only rich people can come here, and let’s face it, they’re not your most fascinating people.”— Essayist/cultural critic Fran Lebowitz quoted in “Party Lines,” New York Magazine, May 4-7, 2015

Or, to paraphrase Ernest Hemingway's (invented) exchange with F. Scott Fitzgerald:

"The rich are different from you and me."

"Yes, they're more boring."

Wow...Who knew?

Quote of the Day (Fran Lebowitz, on Mike Bloomberg, Alleged ‘Green Mayor’)

“He’s the ‘green mayor’? He’s the green mayor who travels by private jet. There is nothing more polluting than jet fuel. One of his little trips on his private jet, to wherever he goes on the weekend — he doesn’t tell us, that’s his private life — that is every cigarette ever smoked in the history of New York City.”—Fran Lebowitz, quoted in “Voices: Notable New Yorkers Weigh in on Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s Legacy,” The New York Times, August 18, 2013

Quote of the Day (Fran Lebowitz, on Not Writing)

“Sulking is a big effort. So is not writing. I only realized that when I did start writing. When I started getting real work done, I realized how much easier it is to write than not to write. Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I’ve ever encountered. It takes it out of you. It’s very psychically wearing not to write—I mean if you’re supposed to be writing.”—Fran Lebowitz, “Fran Lebowitz, A Humorist at Work,” interviewed by James Linville and George Plimpton, The Paris Review, Summer 1993