“I was always on edge when I travelled home alone late at night. I was very conscious of never smiling, because I was afraid that if I smiled someone would punch me. I actively tried to look sad, and, in keeping with my slow-to-talk, living in-my-head approach to life, I would invent awful things that had happened to me to tell a robber so that he would feel guilty and then not rob me. Like, I expected a robber to say, ‘I’m so sorry, Colin. I was going to steal your ten dollars, but after hearing that your cat killed your sister I cannot in good conscience take your money. In fact, here’s five dollars from me. In memory of your sister, Noxzema.’”—Saturday Night Live writer and “Weekend Update” co-anchor Colin Jost, “Commuting,” The New Yorker, Mar. 16, 2020
(The accompanying photo
of Colin Jost—cropped from another showing him with Michael Che—was taken at
Citi Field, Oct. 12, 2015, by Arturo Pardavila III on Flickr.)
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