“The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has
learned a lot about putting just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about
snow. He knows he has used putters with straight shafts, dull shafts, glass
shafts, oak shafts, and Great-uncle Clyde’s World War I saber, which he found
in the attic. Attached to these shafts have been putter heads made of large
lumps of lead (‘weight makes the ball roll true,’ salesmen explain) and slivers
of aluminum (‘lightness makes the ball roll true,’ salesmen explain) as well as
every other substance harder than a marshmallow. He knows he has tried 41
different stances, inspired by everyone from the club pro to Fred Astaire in Flying
Down to Rio, and just as many different strokes. Still, he knows he is
hopelessly trapped. He can’t putt, and he never will, and the only thing left
for him to do is bury his head in the dirt and live the rest of his life like a
radish.”—American sportswriter and novelist Dan Jenkins (1928-2019),
“Lockwrists and Cage Cases,” Sports Illustrated, July 16, 1962,
reprinted in The Dogged Victims of Inexorable Fate: A Love-Hate Celebration of Golfers and Their Game (1970)
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