“Mother knew in her heart that she had no business
going to auctions. She was too suggestible, and if an hypnotic auctioneer once
got her eye, she was lost. Besides, an auction aroused all her worst instincts
—her combativeness, her recklessness, and her avaricious love of a bargain. And
the worst of it was that this time it wasn’t a bargain at all. At least she
didn’t think it was now. The awful old thing was about eight feet tall, and it
wasn’t the one she had wanted. It wasn’t half as nice as the clock that old
Miss Van Derwent had bought. And inside the hood over the dial, she said, there
was a little ship which at first she hadn’t noticed, a horrid ship that rocked
up and down every time the clock ticked. It made her ill just to look at it.
And she didn’t have the money, and the man said he’d have to send it this
evening, and what would Father say?”—American humorist and cartoonist Clarence
Day (1874-1935), “Father and His Hard-Rocking Ship,” in Life With Father (1935)
(The image accompanying this post is from the 1947
film Life With Father, based on Day’s
book and the long-running Broadway comedy adapted from it. William Powell play
Clarence Day Sr. and Irene Dunne his wife “Vinnie.”)
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