Movie Quote of the Day (The Three Stooges, With the Fine Art of Census-Taking)

Larry [played by Larry Fine]: “What does your husband do?”

Lucy Wyckoff [played by Jean Willes]: “He's an expert in legerdemain.”

Larry: “Legerdemain. Oh, a bookkeeper.”

Lucy: “No, he's a prestidigitator.”

Shemp [played by Shemp Howard]: “Oh, a pants presser?”

Moe [played by Moe Howard]: “Are you guys ignorant? Didn't you hear the lady say? He presses refrigerators.”

Shemp, Larry: “Oh!”

Lucy: “No, no, no. We do an illusion act in vaudeville. He's a magician. He makes things disappear.”

Shemp: “I got an uncle who can make things disappear.”

Moe: “Is he a magician?”

Shemp: “No, he's a kleptomaniac.”— Don't Throw That Knife (1951), screenplay by Felix Adler, directed by Jules White

I watched this short last week, just after I had filled out the 2020 Census questionnaire online. My response came, I must admit, after a card in the mail advised me of a personal visit at home from a representative of the Census Bureau if I didn’t reply immediately to the latest inquiry from Uncle Sam.

Now, I see that, due to the coronavirus outbreak, the Bureau wants a four-month delay in deadlines for its all-important head count. I imagine that the notion of getting up close and personal with millions of American citizens--with who knows how many infected by the disease?--was not what the army of census-takers signed up for.

Talking about what can "make things disappear"!