Kramer [played by
Michael Richards]: “Jackie, we gotta talk.”
Jackie Chiles
[played by Phil Morris]: [pushing him out the door] “No way,
Kramer. You've brought nothing but a mountain of misfortune and humiliation.
Now get out.”
Kramer: “But Jackie—"
Jackie: “I said out.”
Kramer: “Jackie, I think
I got a case against the tobacco companies.”
Jackie [stopping
short]: “The who?”
Kramer: “The tobacco
companies.”
Jackie [smiling,
thinking of the possibilities]: “I've been wanting a piece of them for
years….Did that cigarette warning label mention anything about damage to your
appearance?”
Kramer: “No, it didn't
say anything.”
Jackie: “So you're a
victim. Now your face is shallow, unattractive, disgusting.”
Kramer: “So Jackie, do
you think we got a case?”
Jackie [positively
beaming]: “Your face is my case.”—Seinfeld, Season 8, Episode 9, “The Abstinence,” original air date Nov. 21, 1996, teleplay by Steve Koren,
directed by Andy Ackerman
