Movie Quote of the Day (‘Duck Soup,’ on Forgetting Faces)

Rufus T. Firefly [played by Groucho Marx]: “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”— Duck Soup (1933), story by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby, with additional dialogue by Arthur Sheekman and Nat Perrin, directed by Leo McCarey

Movie Quote of the Day (‘Horse Feathers,’ With Groucho in a Unique College Football Moment)

Referee [sees Wagstaff lying in the middle of the field with a cigar]: “What are you doing with that cigar in your mouth?”

Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff [played by Groucho Marx)]: “Why? Do you know another way to smoke it?”—Horse Feathers (1932), written by Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, S.J. Perelman, Will B. Johnstone, and Arthur Skeekman (uncredited)

Wouldn’t you find the football game in Horse Feathers a lot more unexpected and entertaining than any of the bowl games you’ll watch on TV today?

Movie Quote of the Day (‘Horse Feathers,’ As Groucho Mixes Geology and Theology)

Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff [played by Groucho Marx)]: “Beyond the Alps lies more Alps. And The Lord Alps those that Alps themselves.”— Horse Feathers (1932), written by Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, S.J. Perelman, Will B. Johnstone, and Arthur Skeekman (uncredited)

Movie Quote of the Day (‘A Night at the Opera,’ As Groucho Explains Why a Tenor Was Treated Roughly)

Rodolfo Lassparri [played by Walter Woolf King]: “Never in my life have I received such treatment. They threw an apple at me.”

Otis B. Driftwood [played by Groucho Marx]: “Well, watermelons are out of season.”— A Night at the Opera (1935), screenplay by George S. Kaufman and Morrie Ryskind, directed by Sam Wood

Movie Quote of the Day (‘Duck Soup,’ As Groucho Demonstrates a Unique Diplomatic Style)

Ambassador Trentino [played by Louis Calhern]: “I didn't come here to be insulted!”

Rufus T. Firefly [played by Groucho Marx]: “That's what you think!”— Duck Soup (1933), story by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby, with additional dialogue by Arthur Sheekman and Nat Perrin, directed by Leo McCarey 

Movie Quote of the Day (‘The Cocoanuts,’ in Which Groucho Romances a Rich Woman Who’s Unexpectedly Unattainable)

Hammer [played by Groucho Marx]: [to Mrs. Emily Potter, after trying to put his arms around her, only to find she’s too tall for him.] “Can you come down a little bit? Just think, tonight, tonight when the moon is sneaking around the clouds, I'll be sneaking around you. I'll meet you tonight under the moon. Oh, I can see you now -- you and the moon. You wear a necktie so I'll know ya.”— The Cocoanuts (1929), based on the Broadway play by George S. Kaufman, adapted by Morrie Ryskind, directed by Robert Florey and Joseph Santley

Movie Quote of the Day (‘A Day at the Races,’ As Dr. Groucho Deftly Defends His Credentials)

Mrs. Upjohn [played by Margaret Dumont]: “Surely, you don't question the doctor's ability?”

Whitmore [played by Leonard Ceeley]: “No, not exactly. But running a sanitarium calls for a man with peculiar talents.”

Dr. Hackenbush [played by Groucho Marx]: “You don't have to look any further! I've got the most peculiar talents of any doctor you've ever met.”—A Day at the Races (1937), screenplay by Robert Pirosh, George Seaton and George Oppenheimer, directed by Sam Wood

Premiering 80 years ago this week, A Day at the Races clocked in at one hour and 50 minutes, making it the Marx Brothers’ longest feature. That was not its only distinction, however: the other related to Groucho’s character, a veterinarian passing himself off as a medical doctor.

In the original screenplay, this medical masquerader was given the Dickensian name of Dr. Quackenbush. MGM’s legal department, however, discovered that there were at least a dozen real doctors in the U.S. with this name. Nervous studio executives decided that a slight change of spelling would get them out of any legal hassles. Groucho liked the new name so much that he sometimes used it in signing off in letters to friends.

I have to admit to another reason for liking this name: It sounds like a cousin to a town near where I live: Hackensack, N.J. Five years after A Day at the Races, writer-director Preston Sturges used that place name for even more uproarious effect in The Palm Beach Story, when he gave Rudy Vallee’s stand-in for filthy-rich industrial John D. Rockefeller the sobriquet “John D. Hackensacker III.”

Movie Quote of the Day (The Marx Brothers, With a Foolproof Means of Solving a Crime)

Captain Jeffrey Spaulding (played by Groucho Marx): “It is my belief that the missing picture is hidden in the house next door.”

Signor Emanuel Ravelli (played by Chico Marx): “There isn’t any house next door.”

Spaulding: “Then we’ll build one!”— Animal Crackers (1930), screenplay by George S. Kaufman, Morrie Ryskind, Bert Kalmar, and Harry Ruby, directed by Victor Heerman

TV Quote of the Day (Groucho Marx, on Speaking When Angry)

“If you speak when angry, you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” — Groucho Marx, giving advice to contestants on his TV show “You Bet Your Life,” quoted in Eve Starr, “Inside TV” column, Greensboro (NC) Record, Nov. 3, 1954

Movie Quote of the Day (‘Duck Soup,’ on Groucho’s ‘Gala Day’)

Mrs. Teasdale (played by Margaret Dumont): “Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you.”

 
Rufus T. Firefly (played by Groucho Marx): “Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.” —Duck Soup (1933), story by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby with additional dialogue by Arthur Sheekman and Nat Perrin, directed by Leo McCarey