“I don't spend thousands of dollars a year at the
bookstore or the dry cleaners or the local coffee shop, yet every couple of
months or so, the owners throw a freebie my way. On the other hand, I do spend
thousands of dollars a year at the doctor's. So wouldn't it be nice if every so
often the doctor said: ‘Hey, you've been a loyal customer; this nasal
endoscopy's on the house’? It would also be nice if my acupuncturist said,
‘Your money’s no good here, pal. I got this baby covered.’ And I'd love it if my
physical therapist said, ‘C'mon, let me grab that check for a change.’ It would
also be nice to get every fourth root canal free.”—Joe
Queenan, “Is There a Doctor on the House?”, The
Wall Street Journal, July 11-12, 2015
