Quote of the Day (Ann Beattie, on an Airport Experience for Some Women This Weekend)

“After clearing security at the airport, did you remove from the bin your belt, your loose change, the necklace that initially set off the alarm and resulted in your having to step aside to be patted down, your laptop, your folding umbrella, your empty thermos, your jacket, your sweater, your beret, your purse, and the brooch that may have contributed to the necklace’s having set off the alarm that subsequently resulted in your being patted down, forgetting one shoe?” —American short-story writer Ann Beattie, with nearly 25 questions to help “How to Think Through Finding a Lost Shoe,” The New Yorker, Oct. 8, 2018

Joke of the Day (George Carlin, on Airport Announcements and Evel Knievel)

“About this time [during airport announcements], someone is telling you to get on the plane. ‘Get on the plane. Get on the plane.’ I say, ‘F--- you, I'm getting IN the plane! IN the plane! Let Evel Knievel get ON the plane! I'll be in here with you folks in uniform! There seems to be less WIND in here!’"—American stand-up comic George Carlin (1937-2008), George Carlin: Jammin' in New York, original air date Apr. 25, 1992, directed by Rocco Urbisci

I heard a slight variation on this joke on vacation two months ago, while visiting the National Comedy Center in southwestern New York. (This museum, which only opened earlier this year, is in Jamestown, the town in which Lucille Ball lived as a child. It is well worth your visit—and well worth a future blog post from yours truly.)

The joke reminded me of the shrewd attention to language nuances by George Carlin. Mentally, I filed it away for future use. It turns out to segue nicely into my brief consideration of daredevil Evel Knievel, born on this date 80 years ago in Butte, Mont. 

If you came of age in the late Sixties to late Seventies, as I did, you couldn’t have turned on your TV set without witnessing some outlandish stunt or other by this showman. His first--performing wheelies, crashing through plywood firewalls and jumping over two pick-up trucks at the National Date Festival in Indio, Calif.—was a big success, but comparatively tame compared with what followed at Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, where he successfully jumped the fountains before crashing (1967); Snake River Canyon at Twin Falls, Idaho (1975); and a crash in a jump over 13 buses at Wembley Stadium in London, England (1975).

A fine interview with Knievel by Pat Jordan shortly before the onetime media sensation died at 69 depicted him as the father of “extreme sports.” It might be easier to think of Knievel as a defier of death, the late 20^th-century link to Harry Houdini. 

Muhammad Ali once humorously billed the daredevil in his mid-‘70s prime as “the white Muhammad Ali.” Indeed, his motorcycle and costume—a white leather costume with red-white-and-blue stars and stripes and a flowing cape, inspired by his friend Liberace—both now reside in the Smithsonian.

Tweet of the Day (Ingrid Michaelson, With a Dismaying Thought for a Major Travel Weekend)

“The baggage carousel sounds a lot more fun than it actually is.” — American singer-songwriter Ingrid Michaelson (twitter name: ingridmusic) tweet quoted in Twitter Wit: Brilliance in 140 Characters or Less, edited by Nick Douglas (2009)

Quote of the Day (George Stigler, on Planes, Time and Airports)

“If you never miss the plane, you're spending too much time in airports.” —Nobel-prizewinning economist George Stigler, quoted in Jordan Ellenberg, How Not to Be Wrong: The Power of Mathematical Thinking (2014)

But if you do miss the plane, you’re spending even more time in airports than you should. And more often than not, it’s bound to be stupid and unproductive.

See, that’s the trouble with economists—even those Nobel laureates such as the late George Stigler who are courted so shamelessly by universities. They ignore the obvious.

Anyway, I’m glad I didn’t miss either plane on my one-stop flight that took me home from vacation today.