Quote of the Day (Robert Benchley, on His Morning Torture by Pigeons)

“Although I live in the middle of a very large city, I am awakened every morning by a low gurgling sound which turns out to be the result of one, two, or three pigeons walking in at my window and sneering at me. Granted that I am a fit subject for sneering as I lie there, possibly with one shoe on or an unattractive expression on my face, but there is something more than just a passing criticism in these birds making remarks about me. They have some ugly scheme on foot against me, and I know it. Sooner or later it will come out, and then I can sue.”—American humorist and film actor Robert Benchley (1889-1945), “Down with Pigeons,” in The Best of Robert Benchley (1983)