Random Quotes from the Electoral Silly Season

“At one point, the media will quit taking sides in this thing and start covering Barack Hussein Obama.” – Rightwing nutjob—sorry, conservative—talk-radio host Bill Cunningham, at a campaign rally for John McCain, repeatedly invoking the middle name of the Democratic candidate, before the presumptive GOP nominee disavowed the remarks.

"If he's our candidate, then Hillary's going to be our girl. Because she's more conservative than he is. I think she would be stronger on the war on terrorism. ... I absolutely believe that. ... I will campaign for her if it's McCain."—Ann Coulter, discussing how she’s now supporting the “girl” after fitting her with horns and hoofs for over a decade.

“Six hundred thousand Americans died in a senseless civil war. No, he [Lincoln] shouldn't have gone, gone to war. He did this just to enhance and get rid of the original intent of the republic. I mean, it was the--that iron, iron fist.” —Alleged GOP “libertarian” candidate Ron Paul, in response to Tim Russert’s questions on his published views about Lincoln and the Civil War, conveniently forgotting that a) it was the South, rather than the North, that fired on Fort Sumter, and b) Lincoln’s offer of compensation to slave owners for their property was rejected by the border states in 1862.

“If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror.”—Mitt Romney, withdrawing without admitting that sinking any more of his money into a race he has no more hope of winning is as much anathema to him as putting a hole in the ozone layer is to Friends of the Earth.

"He (Obama) is no Martin Luther King Jr. I knew Martin Luther King. I knew Bobby Kennedy. I knew President Kennedy. You need more than speech-making. You need someone who is prepared to provide bold leadership."— Justly famous former civil-rights activist John Lewis (D-Ga.) sounding an awful lot like Lloyd Bentsen discussing the finer points of John Kennedy with Dan Quayle in their ’88 debate (later in the campaign, Lewis switched his support from Hillary to Obama—and now has probably erased this earlier comment from his memory bank).

“Bill [Clinton] is every bit as black as Barack—he's probably gone with more black women than Barack.” – Andrew Young, displaying the gift for the right words at the right time that so distinguished his tenure as U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations.

“If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept." —Geraldine Ferraro, who would probably (and rightly) take offense at the notion that were she a man, a person of her level of experience “would not be in this position” as Democratic vice-presidential candidate in 1984

“In the last several debates, I seem to get the first question all the time. And I don‘t mind, I—you know, I‘ll be happy to field them. But I do find it curious and anybody saw ‘Saturday Night Live,’ you know, maybe we should ask Barack if he‘s comfortable and needs another pillow.”—Hillary Clinton, who surely is not “comfortable” behind in the race she was supposed to have wrapped up by now.

"This is the darndest campaign I ever saw in my life. It just goes on and on, but I like that." – Bill Clinton, neglecting to tell a Tupelo, Miss., audience that this race that “goes on and on” has pushed him further into the little doghouse his wife has created especially for him—but showing yet again that, why some politicians lie for reasons of state and others to save their butts, he does it simply to stay in practice.

(Coming soon: more choice pearls of wisdom from the political arena, specifically from the New York politico who millions are now asking: “Hey Eliot, how’s tricks?”)