TV Quote of the Day (‘Frasier,’ Calling in a Marker To Get Time Away)

[Niles refuses to sub for Frasier on his radio show during his vacation.]

Frasier Crane [played by Kelsey Grammer]: “Very well. You leave me no alternative but to call in my marker.”

Niles Crane [played by David Hyde Pierce] [nervously]: “What marker?”

Frasier [ominously]: “Oh, I think you know.”

Niles: “You wouldn't.”

Frasier: “I would.”

Niles: “You can't!”

Frasier: “I will.”

Niles: “That was three years ago!”

Frasier: “I don't recall there being any statute of limitations. I distinctly recall that when you asked me to go out with Maris's sister, you said that you would ‘owe me one forever.’”

Niles: “But you only spent one evening with Brie. That hardly compares with what you're asking me to endure.”

Frasier: “Oh? Shall I refresh your memory? Midway through the opera her ermine muff began to tremble. As it turned out she had used it to smuggle in her adorably incontinent Chihuahua. Just as I thought we'd reached the low point of the evening I suddenly felt a sandpaper tongue licking my earlobe. Alas it did not belong to little Hervé! Fortunately my shriek coincided with the on-stage murder of Gondolfo! Roz will expect you on Monday at two.”

Niles: “For your information, Brie had a very tough row to hoe growing up. It's not easy going through life with one nostril.”

Frasier: “Did I mention she had a cold that night?”

Niles: “Monday at two it is.”—Frasier, Season 4, Episode 5, “Head Game,” original air date Nov. 12, 1996, teleplay by Rob Greenberg, directed by David Lee