TV Quote of the Day (‘Seinfeld,’ on Jerry Wearing ‘The Puffy Shirt’ to a Benefit for the Homeless)

[Though Kramer is ecstatic about Jerry’s new “pirate look,” Elaine bursts out laughing at the “Puffy Shirt,” and asks why he’s wearing it.]

Jerry [played by Jerry Seinfeld] [Furious at his predicament]: 'Why am I wearing this now?'? I'll tell you why I'm wearing it now—because [Kramer’s female friend] The Lowtalker asked me to, that's why! And I said 'yes.' Do you know why? Because I couldn't HEAR her!”

Elaine Benes [played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus]: “When did she, [snickering] when did she ask you this?”

Jerry: “When we were at dinner, when Kramer went to the bathroom.”

Elaine: “I didn't hear anything.”

Jerry (yelling): “Of course not! Nobody hears anything when this woman speaks!”

Elaine [Finally grasping the seriousness of the situation]: “Well, you can't wear that on the show!”

Kramer [played by Michael Richards] [Muffled, low, and threatening]: “Elaine, you want to stop?”

Elaine (Turning around to Kramer): “Wha- What? No. (Back to Jerry) Jerry, you are promoting a benefit to CLOTHE homeless people. You can't come out dressed like that! You're all puffed up! You look like the Count of Monte Cristo!”— Seinfeld, Season 5, Episode 2, “The Puffy Shirt,” original air date Sept. 23, 1993, teleplay by Larry David, directed by Tom Cherones