TV Quote of the Day (‘Curb Your Enthusiasm,’ As Larry Seeks to Recover His Bowling Shoes)

Larry David [played by Larry David]: “Nice shoes.”

Shoe Thief [played by Joe Liss]: “Thanks.”

Larry: “I think they're mine.”

Shoe Thief: “You're kidding.”

Larry: “Kidding? No, they're my shoes.”

Shoe Thief: “They're your shoes?”

Larry: “Yeah.”

Shoe Thief: “How could they be your shoes?”

Larry: “How could they be? Because that guy gave them to you by mistake the other day.”

Shoe Thief: “Well, that's weird.”

Larry: “What? What's weird?”

Shoe Thief: “That he would give me those shoes.”

Larry: “No, that's not weird. What's weird is that you would put them on. That's what's weird.”

Shoe Thief: “Aw, you mean it's not weird that he would give me these shoes?”

Larry: “No, that's a mistake.”

Shoe Thief: “They're not my shoes and he gave them to me.”

Larry: “Yeah, that's a mistake. That's an honest mistake. What's weird is that you would take shoes that don't belong to you and put them on. That's weird.”

Shoe Thief: “Or even weirder that you left without even your shoes.”

Larry: “That's not that weird, I had nothing else to wear.”

Shoe Thief: “Well, that would be kinda weird.”

Larry: “No, that's gonna be weird for you now after I get the shoes back. That'll be weird.”—Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 1, Episode 2, “Ted and Mary,” original air date Oct. 22, 2000, teleplay by Larry David, directed by David Steinberg